In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity (Jeremiah 31:31-34) every person can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.
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Christian Prayer – How to Pray as a Married Couple, that is, with your spouse
For busy parents – a simple approach to prayer
Prayer is simply visiting with God – the Creator – who is always present – a Community of Divine Persons: the Father, the Son, Jesus – and the Holy Spirit.
PRELIMINARY NOTES FOR ALL WHO PRAY
1.
BUSY PRAYER IN THE DUTY OF THE
MOMENT: We can pray – visit with God – anywhere,
anytime, but in the car, driver, attention to the road!
2.
PRAYER OF SILENCE: Friends of God find Him in the silence we learn to keep
within ourselves, quieting our mind, heart, and spirit, like a baby in the
parent’s lap. We can share the silence together.
3.
OTHER FORMS OF PRAYER: You can pray TO God with Scripture, with the Mysteries of
the Rosary; at Holy Mass; or with the saints.
4.
PRAYER TIME & PLACE: Choose a time and place to visit together with God by
setting aside any other activity.
5. IT IS THE HOLY SPIRIT WHO REALLY DOES THE PRAYING WITHIN US: Let the Holy Spirit carry you in the praying, and to help you pay attention to each other and listen with care to each other.
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ACTUALLY PRAYING
1.
“BE NOT AFRAID!” Remember: God will always remain mysterious to us, but
what’s life without mystery?
2.
DECIDE: Simply decide to take some time to visit with God together.
3.
ASK: Ask the
Holy Spirit to be with you both and help you to pray together, to visit together
with the Holy Trinity.
4.
ENTER INTO YOUR PRAYER METHOD: In “silent prayer” OR with a Scripture text OR with the Mysteries of Jesus in the Rosary OR…
5.
“WORRY NOT – ENJOY!” Enjoy the presence and the love of God the Father, his Son Jesus,
and the Holy Spirit in the presence of your spouse.
6.
AT THE END GIVE THANKS: Say together or one of you for both: “Thank You, Lord… or
Father… or Jesus… or Holy Spirit.”
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Especially for busy parents with young children – simplifying our approach to prayer
Prayer is visiting with God – the Creator of the Universe – who is always present. Jesus revealed God to be a Divine Being that is a Trinity, a Community of Divine Persons: the Father, the Son – who became human through Mary and is named Jesus – and the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit guides us interiorly in our own spirit.
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PRELIMINARY NOTES FOR ALL WHO PRAY
1. BUSY PRAYER IN THE DUTY OF THE MOMENT: Our life is complex in many dimensions. We can pray – visit with God – anywhere, anytime: in bed, in the shower, as we prepare food, before / after a meal, commuting to and from work, pausing a moment during work, at play…. CAUTION: Pay attention in the “front” of your mind to what you are doing to avoid injury… let prayer “happen” on the “back burner”….
2. PRAYER OF SILENCE: Friends of God find Him in silence, not the absence of noise, but in the silence we learn to keep within ourselves, quieting our mind, heart, and spirit, like a baby in the parent’s lap. You can brush away interior “noises” by noticing them and immediately letting them go with your “out” breath. Try to sync your breath in / out with a holy word: “Lord Jesus, I trust in you.” OR simply “Jesus Christ.”
3. OTHER FORMS OF PRAYER: You can pray with Scripture, the Word of God in the Bible; or with the Mysteries of the Rosary; or at Holy Mass; or TO God WITH the saints to help you pray; or written prayers.
4. PRAYER TIME & PLACE: Choose a time and place to visit with God by setting aside any other activity.
5.
IT IS THE HOLY SPIRIT WHO REALLY DOES THE PRAYING
WITHIN US: Let the Holy Spirit carry you in the
praying, especially when you are doing something else. At all times it is
really the Holy Spirit who prays in us, and if we want, the Holy Spirit can
give us the grace to relax; so we don’t need to “strain the brain” at all, and
the Holy Spirit teaches us how to allow the prayer to “echo” within our spirit.
6. “BE NOT AFRAID!” Remember: God, revealed to us by Jesus of Nazareth, is a “Divine Being” in whom is a “community” of Divine Persons: the Father, his Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit; yet God is a single Divine Being. God will always remain mysterious to us, but what’s life without mystery?
7. DECIDE: Simply decide together to pray with each other, and in this way visit together with God.
8. ASK: Ask the Holy Spirit to be with you and help you to pray, to visit with the Holy Trinity.
9.
ENTER INTO YOUR PRAYER METHOD: In “silent prayer” together using a
“holy word”, learn to “breathe” the word in and out, letting your breath and
word “sync” to relax and rest in the Lord.
OR Select a Scripture text and read
slowly, “ponder” the words, let them touch your mind, heart, spirit.
OR Pray the Rosary with Mary while meditating on the
Mysteries of Jesus in the Holy Rosary. OR…
10. “WORRY NOT – ENJOY”: You can almost hear Yoda say this to you. Just let whatever comes into your mind or heart – worries, ideas, emotions, resolutions, anxieties, lists or whatever – as you notice it wanting to occupy you, just let it drop, fall away… you will be able to find it or pick it up again later. Enjoy the presence and the love of God the Father, his Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.
11. AT THE END GIVE THANKS: Say “Thank You, Lord… or Father… or Jesus… or Holy Spirit.”
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PRAYING WITH HOLY SCRIPTURE – THE WORD OF GOD – AS A COUPLE
God is the source of vitality and love for Marriage and Family life. Prayer is entertaining God’s presence in order to let Him connect us to his divine vitality. Here is how you can pray together as a Couple.
Step 1. Pick a form of prayer activity, such as praying with Scripture, and select a passage.
Step 2. Someone pray out loud, in a way something like this, in order to ask God’s guidance: “Dear God, here we are in your presence. Please guide and inspire us, in Jesus’ Name. Amen.”
Step 3. Follow this simple process, which will give each person the opportunity to hear the other person sharing their thoughts and in this way reveal how they need to be prayed for.
1. One
person read the Scripture passage out loud, slowly, and clearly.
2. Both
remain quiet for a good 2 to 3 minutes, to allow the Word of God time to bounce
around inside you and stir up impressions that come from your daily life,
thoughts, and feelings.
3. The
other person reads the same passage over again out loud, slowly, and clearly.
4. Both listen again in silence to what’s bouncing around inside as the Word of God continues to connect with thoughts, impressions, and feelings that come from your daily life and deep within you.
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Step 4. Now you take turns putting into words, for each other’s sake, what effect the Word of God had on you.
1. Now one
of you can start and give the other a glimpse of what the reading from
Scripture stirred up inside – your thoughts, impressions, feelings, and maybe
experience of your day. The other listens.
2. The second
person prays a simple prayer out loud repeating some of the words the first used
to say what in them is being touched by the Word of God. E.g.: She said, “As I listened, I
remembered the fight I had with my boss, and I feel bad about it, and worried.”
So, he says, “Father in Heaven, You heard her say what happened, and now
she feels bad and worried. Please give her peace and help her find a way to
resolve this problem, in Jesus’ Name. Amen!”
3. Your prayer for the other can be simple or detailed, as you are comfortable and have the time to do, but use the other’s own words. This whole exercise is done in freedom, trust, faith, and generosity.
Step 5. Now it’s the other’s turn to put into words, for each other’s sake, how the Word of God touched you.
1. Now the
second gives the first a glimpse of what the reading from Scripture stirred up
inside – your thoughts, impressions, feelings, and maybe experience of your day.
The one who was first listens.
2. The one
who was first prays a simple prayer out loud repeating some of the words the second
used to describe what in them is being touched by the Word of God. E.g.: He said, “As I listened, I
recalled I didn’t handle our child’s discipline very well, and I don’t know
what to do.” So, she says, “Father in Heaven, You heard him say what happened,
and now doesn’t know what to do. Please give him peace and help him find a way
to correct this problem, in Jesus’ Name. Amen!”
3. Your prayer for the other can be simple or detailed, as you are comfortable and have the time to do, but use the other’s own words. This whole exercise is done in freedom, trust, faith, and generosity.
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Step 6. You look at each other and notice how you now feel, having prayed for one another. (Kleenex time?)
1. You
may not need to talk, but may see in each other’s eyes that this has been a
significant time of prayer – a time of intimacy with God, but also a time of
intimacy with each other – you have trusted each other with simple, daily,
secrets of the heart. You are revealing yourself to each other in love.
2. We tend to feel tremendously loved when someone listens to our heart, because this is who we are.
Step 7. Wrap-up and closing
1. Now,
hold hands, sitting as you are, or standing up, or even kneeling together.
2. Wrap
up with prayer out loud in your own words, to simply express to God your
gratitude for his abiding presence, care, and love.
3. You
can also end with an Our Father, a Hail Mary, and a Glory be to the Father.
4. Feel free to hug, kiss, stand up, genuflect, prostrate yourself, bow before an icon, make the Sign of the Cross, or make a reverent genuflection before the Blessed Sacrament if in a chapel. Prayer may be without words and is as lively and connected as we are. Praying together is a marvellous way for husband and wife to prepare for sexual intimacy, the “holy blessing” of Matrimony, especially when unhurriedly he joins gently with his wife, entirely focused on her pleasure rather than his own.
Remember that prayer is a normal human activity. You will become more at ease with it the more you do it. On the other hand, because you are not alone in it, but God is there with you, prayer is not only a human activity, but also divine, like a dance. So it doesn’t make sense to try to evaluate our prayer experiences using human parameters or measuring sticks. In fact, it is better not to evaluate our prayer at all, but rather to pay attention to the fidelity and generosity with which we spend or “waste” time “visiting” with God every day. With time you will discover which forms of prayer are most loving for each other and most helpful in your couple intimacy. The ultimate rule of thumb is the rule of love that expresses itself and gives itself in freedom and generosity.
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PRAYING WITH HOLY SCRIPTURE – THE WORD OF GOD – AS A COUPLE
The above method of praying as a couple with Sacred Scripture can be easily enough adapted to other forms of prayer, such as meditating on Mysteries of the Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary, reading spiritual works by one of the saints, reading inspiring passages from the Catechism of the Catholic Church, sermons from the saints or pastoral and spiritual letters written by various Popes, and so on. There is no talking when you pray in silence together, but at the end of the silence you can share with each other any “word” you felt arise within you perhaps as a “personal hint” from God. By sharing such “words” with the other, you can better discern together whether this word is really from God or simply a distraction, or perhaps even a temptation from the “evil one”, the “adversary of humanity”, the evil angel who accuses us before God and tries to lead us astray here on Earth.
Whenever you pray together as a couple, the abiding values are:
First - in your praying together to God at the beginning and at the end;
Second - in your “interior converse” with God;
Third - in your sharing with each other;
Fourth - in your listening to each other;
Fifth - in your praying out loud for each other;
Sixth - in the mutual trust you show to each other by the simple act of praying together; and
Seventh - in actually opening your heart, mind, soul, and body (sharing at times even any physical sensations you may have experienced during prayer) to each other.
God is always at work within us, but
through the incredible trust we show God and each other in praying as a couple;
we give God permission to accomplish wonderful things in us individually and in
our couple.
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In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity (Jeremiah 31:31-34) every person can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.
© 2006-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal QC
© 2006-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
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