Online helps to become free of sexual addiction and recover our original innocence which is God's gift to human beings

 In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity (Jeremiah 31:31-34) every person can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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Pornography Addiction – Online Helps - PDF version of this text 

There are a variety of approaches for someone who wants to get off the disordered sexuality merry-go-round, which only makes one dizzy and prevents us from enjoying the abundance of life Jesus promised He came to give us and which our heavenly Father wants us to have and enjoy.

There are a number of services available on the Internet to help a person become free from the dependency on porn and all the various forms of sexual behavior that is not in accord with the way in which God designed us in order to truly love and be loved. Here are a few of them. I haven't used any of these myself, nor do I know anyone who has, that is, not yet. However, we are only now just beginning to do something about the plague of porn and of the many destructive improper uses of our human sexuality, which is a truly awesome gift from God to allow us to love and be loved in a way that is truly life giving for everyone involved.

I have received emails from Covenant Eyes, and I find them to be of a high quality and quite impressive. Strive is offered by Matt Fradd who is highly recommended by pastoral workers in our Diocese in Montreal and he gave two talks on Thursday, September 26th 2019 on "Parenting the Internet generation" and on "Porn: Seven Myths Exposed". I would be inclined to think that you can certainly trust his Strive offering. I've looked at Reclaim and Fortify and they seem legitimate and honest.

Please email me your impressions once you engage in one of these. You will find my address at the end. One thing is certain, and that is that your decision to do something in order to change is how you will begin to experience relief. God offers us all his love and divine power, and his only condition is that we follow up on the good desires He gives us and that all along the way we give Him our consent to do what He wants to do in us.

Strive to become the man you are meant to be is a company whose service is clearly based in Christian values and its team is clearly identified. It is a powerful 21-day challenge to help men get the tools in place necessary to get on the path toward freedom. It is a practical step-by-step plan to break free from pornography, and a supportive community of men from around the world journeying together. You'll also have lifetime access to the challenge and current and future live events. This is for any man who engages porn and/or masturbation at any level every day or only occasionally, a clear red flag that something is off and needs to be dealt with.

You simply cannot continue to engage in pornography and/or masturbation and love others rightly. And this is such a slippery slope. Porn use always leads to more porn use and more deviant forms of porn use. That’s what the science is telling us. When we no longer get aroused at the more “vanilla" forms of pornography, we seek something a little more edgy which becomes a little more violent and soon we find ourselves in a place we never dreamed we would be. We want to help you stop that vicious cycle before you go to that place.

There is more information in the FAQs tab section. For now, the program is free, but in time, they may have to charge a fee for it. After all, we all need to earn a living and the worker deserves his wages, Jesus once said.

Fortify does not clearly identify who runs it. It is an online support community for men and women – young and old – seeking lasting freedom from pornography. Fortify was designed to equip individuals struggling with compulsive pornography use – young and old – with tools, education and community to assist them in reaching lasting freedom. Our mission is to help spark an uprising of people tired of porn messing with their lives – and ready for something far better. In addition to a series of instructional videos and accompanying training, Fortify offers many opportunities for individuals to share insights and stories together. This is from their "About" page. Sign-up gives a complete breakdown of the services offered for free and what you get for the Premium version at US$9.99 / month, US$6.95 for students, and free for teens 13-17 with and approved scholarship. They have a chat option allowing you to get in touch with someone who is apparently qualified to offer this service.

Reclaim God's Plan for Sexual Health is an online service offered by Elizabeth Ministry International; so it is run by a clearly identified Christian agency. This inspires confidence that they are responsible and accountable and willing to reply to queries and respond to complaints. Reclaim is available 24 / 7 which is anonymous, private, and secure; a science-based approach designed to activate or re-activate, form, and strengthen your "human decision system". It is offered at low cost (a soft drink or coffee a day) which gives you a daily tracking calendar and a personal journal. That seems to be not much but it adds up to US$49 / month or US$245 up front for 6 months (5 months with a 6th month free). The operating principle is that if something is free it doesn't trigger our commitment, but when there is a cost, we have to find inside our willingness to commit, which is essential to success. Also, their incredible investment of people and technology needs to fund itself.

You also get online "crisis tools" to help you with cravings and urges to act out unwanted sexual behaviors. Reclaim is also a prayer network, faith focused, a social support, with real world application, safe and anonymous, so you can be always moving forward. You would begin this Online Recovery Program with 10-15 minutes of training a day over several weeks from six modules, which will give you incredible knowledge and understanding about your life as a human being. They offer a free mini course which is really a promo and intro to the program.

Covenant Eyes like all these services is not specifically identifying as a Christian service but is clearly based in Christian values and also offers a “Catholic service” for parishes and dioceses. It is a service offer to give you the assurance of having caring people become your allies to help you become accountable for your Internet use and communication. The idea is that the service allows you to recruit people who know and love you to help you be accountable. Once you sign onto the service, you log in all your devices - PC, laptop, tablet, phone, etc. - and Covenant Eyes monitors your use, logs any suspicious images, blurs them, and reports on them to your allies. This allows your allies to support you, affirm you, ask helpful questions, and support you in formulating and accomplishing realizable goals for yourself. They have a high success rate.

They offer the service free for 30 days, and after that, they charge US$15.99 per month, but there is room for up to 10 users and unlimited devices. A whole family or two families or a bunch of friends could sign up into one account; so it would only cost them a cup of coffee a month for each member on the account.

CMG Connect Parents is an online service offered to parents by Covenant Eyes and Catholic Mutual Group. I haven’t researched it much but it seems worth investigating.

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All these services have a common goal: to help people break free from pornography, and those who design and offer these services are people who hold human values that harmonize with Christian values, with the gospel and person of Jesus Christ. These services are also founded in companies that need to be built up and exist in the real world, which means paying people salaries, housing the work in office buildings and studios, and other resources and expenses. While individual people can offer their presence and service free for a time or on a specific occasion, everyone needs to earn a living for themselves and their family, and as Jesus once said, the worker deserves his wages – Matthew 10:10 & Luke 10:7.

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In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity (Jeremiah 31:31-34) every person can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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© 2006-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2006-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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Emotions connect us - they are at times troublesome but they add colour to life

In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity (Jeremiah 31:31-34) every person can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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 PDF version of this file    

Emotions Connect Us

We human beings are complex beings living in several dimensions: body, mind, psyche or heart, soul, and in God.

Your body is like a space ship which enables you to travel out into the world, do things, and return home

Like a space ship, airplane, or ocean vessel your body is equipped with navigational sensors enabling you to situate yourself wherever you are, to orient yourself towards chosen destinations, and to accomplish all sorts of tasks and objectives. Unlike those inanimate vessels, your body is alive and invested with a sense of its own existence. This is why we identify with our body: we don’t say that we have a body but rather that we are a body, but not only a body. We are much more than just a body.

Your mind is like a computer that enables you to make sense of what’s happening and where you’re going

Like a computer your mind is equipped with applications capable of complex operations, but unlike even the most advanced computer, and like your body, your mind is alive and has a strong sense of its own existence. While humanity is trying to create “artificial intelligence”, we are invested with what we could call “natural intelligence”. As we identify with our body, so do we also identify with our mind: yet again we don’t say that we have a mind but rather that we are a mind, but not only a mind. We are much more than just a mind.

Your psyche or heart deploys a constellation of emotions to connect you with others, the world, yourself

Far more “advanced” than the most sophisticated network in “the cloud” or in any computing system, your psyche spontaneously manifests a constellation of feelings and emotions. Far more complex than even the most advanced network or neural net, your psyche is alive like your body and your mind, but much more. It even has a very personal sense of being; which is why we commonly call it our “heart”. Probably from the first moment of our conception, our whole being has been accumulating impressions which give rise to our feelings and emotions. At first while we were still in the womb we simply “vibrated” to the feelings and emotions of our mother and soon after to our father who was “outside” but “nearby”. Being born by our mother into the world “expelled” us from the “paradise” of the womb and we immediately began to “feel” and to “emote” in accord to a whole constellation of “states of being”. As birth made our body autonomous from our mother’s body; so too was our psyche or heart made autonomous from our mother’s feelings and emotions. We can now feel and emote on our own; while still remaining related to others and their feelings and emotions. As we identify with our body and our mind, so do we also identify with our heart: yet again we don’t say that we have a heart but rather that we are a heart, but not only a heart. We are much more than just a heart.

Your soul is what contains who you really are, the person you are becoming, and is connected with God

Unlike your body, your mind, or your heart / psyche, your soul is incorporeal – that is, not made of matter or energy as we experience them in the material universe – which is why science cannot detect or measure it. It is God who has revealed to us over the past four millennia that we human beings have an immortal soul. As it is with our body, mind, and heart, we don’t say that we have a soul, but rather that we are a soul. Like your body, mind and heart, your soul is alive and is imbued with a sense of its own immortal existence. It is their soul that causes even very old people to still “feel young inside”. While most of our human efforts focus on this mortal and temporal existence, our soul is oriented towards eternity. Unlike our Creator God who has always existed without any beginning, we came into being at our conception. Our parents provided the DNA and God provided our immortal soul which will live forever. So we are body, mind, heart, and soul.

We sense within us an “empty space” that longs to be filled – only the Holy Trinity can fill us in perfect love

The Holy Spirit is the “breath” of the living God in eternal communion of love between the eternal Father and his only-begotten Son who over 2000 years ago took on a human life in Palestine and came to be known as Jesus of Nazareth, Son of God and son of Mary. Jesus died, rose from the dead, ascended into Heaven, and is forever in perfect unity of communion with his eternal Father in the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit like the Father and the Son is also a divine Person who “pours into us” to fill us with the divine life that is in the Holy Trinity.

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In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity (Jeremiah 31:31-34) every person can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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© 2006-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2006-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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Preparation for Confession - the Sacrament of Reconciliation - for ongoing conversion for Jesus

 In .S.

In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity (Jeremiah 31:31-34) every person can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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PDF version      Préparation pour la Confession - version PDF  

Review of Life

Pick a period of time to review.  It should be at least the time since your last confession.

Think of the habits of your life during that time.  How did you work?  What did you do for fun?  What responsibilities did you have?

Think of the relationships you had during that time.  Which ones were the most significant?  Did any change??

Think of any significant events, happy or sad, that occurred to you during this time. Now ask yourself these questions:

What sinful patterns, whether of commission or omission, crept into the patterns of my life?

What sinful patterns crept into my relationships?  Did the changes come because of sin?

Did the events reveal and expose sin, or cause sin to be hidden??

ACT OF CONTRITION

My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Saviour Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In his name, my God, have mercy. Amen.

The Seven Beasts

Taken from “Reconciliation Time” by Madeline Pecora Nugent in St. Anthony Messenger Magazine, March 2015, pg 12-13

For St. Anthony of Padua, these beasts represent “the seven kinds of sin, which should all and individually be fully disclosed in confession” (Sermons I, p. 81).

Confession (we would say the confessional) therefore becomes for Anthony “the habitation of dragons” and the other beasts mentioned because the penitent brings these beasts forth in the confessing of sin.

The names and descriptions are according to St. Anthony’s own words. The questions are by the author Madeline Pecora Nugent.

Dragon:     the poisonous malice of hatred and detraction – Who do I hate or even dislike? When have I spoken ill of someone?

Ostrich:     the deceitfulness of hypocrisy – Do I try to appear one way in public when actually I am doing or living the opposite?

Ass:     lust – What do I look at, listen to, read that incites lustful feelings? Do I succumb to these?

Ox:     pride – What is my response when criticized? Even though I will not admit it to others, do I think that I am better than they? Do I believe my ideas are generally correct?

Hairy Beast:    avarice and usury – If I were graded in alms giving, would I get an A? What is my attitude about lending someone anything? If I have a business, do I price my merchandise fairly? Do I pay my employees a decent wage? Do I honestly declare my income for my tax return?

Lamia:     heresy and lack of faith – Do I believe everything the Church teaches? Do I pick and choose what to believe? Do I dabble in non-Christian practices or beliefs? Do I speak up for Jesus?

Ericius:     (hedgehog) the crafty excusing of the sinner – Do I make excuses for my sins? Do I say that I cannot help it if God does not care? Do I neglect to think about my sins so that they do not trouble me?

In preparing for confession, it might help to take a blank sheet of paper, which is as barren as a desert, and use it to list on it each sin as soon as we have committed it. The next time we go to confession, take the paper along. Then, once our sins are washed away with the life-giving water of God’s forgiveness, the desert of the confessional will become a spiritual field of grace.

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ACT OF FAITH

O my God, I firmly believe that you are one

God in three divine Persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I believe that your divine Son became man, died for our sins, and that he will come to judge the living and the dead. I believe these and all the truths which the holy Catholic Church teaches, because you have revealed them, who can neither deceive nor be deceived. Amen.

            The Ten Commandments

1.      I am the Lord your God; you shall not have strange gods before me.

2.      You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.

3.      Remember to keep holy the Lord’s Day.

4.    Honour your father and mother.

5.      You shall not kill.

6.      You shall not commit adultery.

7.      You shall not steal.

8.      You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour.

9.      You shall not covet your neighbour’s spouse.

10.  You shall not covet your neighbour’s goods.

ACT OF LOVE

O my God, I love you above all things, with my whole heart and soul, because you are all good and worthy of all love. I love my neighbour as myself for the love of you. I forgive all who have injured me, and ask pardon of all whom I have injured. Amen.

Prayer for Conviction

O Holy Spirit, I confess to you that I am a sinner. 

Often enough, I make excuses for my sin.  I tell myself I am “not that bad”, or that my sin was unavoidable or even necessary at the time.  But these sins offend God just the same, and all sin is ugly.

Holy Spirit, lead me away from hardness of heart.

If I have forgotten my sin, help me to remember.

If I have excused it, grant me the grace of conviction.

If I am too ashamed to admit it, grant me the courage to confess.

And if I do not want to let go of it and change my life, grant me repentance.

O Holy Spirit, reveal my sin to me, that I may bring it to Jesus through the sacrament of reconciliation.  Amen. 

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ACT OF HOPE

O my God, relying on your almighty power

and infinite mercy and promises, I hope to obtain pardon of my sins, the help of your grace, and life everlasting through the merits of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Redeemer. Amen. 

Fraternal Correction

Sometimes the reason it is hard to think of something to confess is because we are too close to it, so it hides just underneath our nose. In such cases what can help is to ask someone we trust to journey with us as we engage in an examination of conscience.  

Doing such an examination with the help of another, especially someone who knows us well, keeps us honest with ourselves.  We discover quickly where we feel ashamed, where we would rather some truth not be told.  These are good indicators of things to bring to confession.

Priests often have people come to confession who know they need to be there but have trouble thinking of what to confess.  Do not be ashamed to ask the priest to help you examine your conscience, even during the sacrament itself.

 

“Somebody Else’s Shoes” 

So you can’t think of anything to confess?  Here’s a little trick… Make a list of your primary relationships: spouse, family members, co-workers, and so on.

Now imagine each of those persons being asked to give suggestions as to what you should bring to confession.  Would they have any suggestions?  What would they be?

Now bring those suggestions to confession.

Updated with French translation December 18th, 2008. First composed / published by Bishop Thomas Dowd, at the time Father Thomas Dowd, in 2003 at St. Thomas à Becket Parish, Pierrefonds QC

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In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity (Jeremiah 31:31-34) every person can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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© 2006-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2006-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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