Saturday, August 27, 2005

Modest Dress at Mass What I Wish I Had Known by Karen Lynn Ford - August 27, 2005

 In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity (Jeremiah 31:31-34) every person can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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21.  Modest Dress at Mass What I Wish I Had Known by Karen Lynn Ford - August 27, 2005

CHURCH ETIQUETTE SERIES

Respect, Reverence, and Charity in Church

What I Wish I Had Known

Unfortunately, she also believed much of what she saw and learned in the real world.  She thought that to get attention she needed to dress to impress provocatively.  To look good, or what she thought was good then, and to get a tan on her northern Ohio body in April, she entered the children's fantasy-land in short shorts and a bikini bathing suit top.  Thank God for the good sense of the Disney World employee who promptly told this young woman that she needed to wear a real shirt because Disney is a family park.  She had a t-shirt and put it on, and felt pretty foolish.

            That young woman, now 34-year-old me, grew up to regret the way she used to dress.  As a mother of three with a fourth on the way, I now realize that modesty is not just beneficial to the girl or woman wearing the clothes.  It benefits everyone who looks at her.

            As a cradle Catholic, I experienced a deepening of my faith early in my marriage.  I learned a lot that I wish I'd known, or listened to, while I was growing up.  One of the most important things I have learned is that as a woman, it is my responsibility to protect myself as well as anyone who looks at me from the near occasion of sin.  Many women or girls will say that it's not their fault if a young man looks at her lustfully when she's exposing twice as much flesh as she's covering.  St. Maria Goretti, on whose feast day my husband and I celebrate our anniversary, disagreed.  When her childhood friend turned lustful and sought to violate her, she chose to die rather than lead Alessandro into sexual sin.

A Detraction and Distraction

The clothing styles available to our young women and teens today aren't exactly helping us to dress modestly.  Even many of the maternity styles are exposing much more chest and midriff than when I was pregnant with my first child.  So some might justify what women are wearing these days by saying there aren't any modest styles available in the department stores.  Indeed, it takes a lot longer to shop for modest clothing, but there are some modest styles out there.

Obviously, I am not impressed with today’s styles, but where I find them most inappropriate and offensive is inside of church.  When I was growing up, we didn't wear jeans or shorts to Mass.  We certainly didn't wear micro-mini skirts and cropped shirts.  It's one thing to see bare-bellied girls walking about the mall or the park.  But week after week I go to Mass and see as much flesh as I would expect to see at the beach, and this is on a 55-degree drizzly day in New England!

I watched as three young girls sang beautifully in the youth choir last weekend.  Unfortunately, they probably don't realize that the way they dressed actually detracted from rather than enhanced their natural beauty.  They looked like Vegas showgirls as they circled a microphone shaking their barely-covered bottoms, three pews away from my eight-year-old son's gaze.  The choir is a focal point of our children’s Mass.  The music is up-beat and truly an occasion to praise God.  Unfortunately, the view is distracting, not reverent.  My grandmother once told me that in the 1950s and'60s, pastors publicly chastised women who wore shorts on church property when they came to pick their children up from Catholic school.  They were in the parking lot, mind you, not the sanctuary.

Stop Being So Mousy about It!

Today, a majority of priests seem to be so afraid to say anything that might offend anyone that people come to church in clothes more suited for mowing the lawn or a day at the beach than to receiving our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar.  If Disney World can give a young woman

a warning about her immodest dress, why won't our church set some parameters for acceptable dress in the church?  One shrine I have been to does have posted guidelines and makes robes available for Mass-goers who show up in shorts or inappropriate clothing.  But this is the exception, not the rule.

Does our Lord care how we are attired?

Jesus again in reply spoke to them in parables, saying, "The kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son. He dispatched his servants to summon the invited guests to the feast, but they refused to come.  A second time he sent other servants, saying, 'Tell those invited: "Behold, I have prepared my banquet, my calves and fattened cattle are killed, and everything is ready; come to the feast."'

Some ignored the invitation and went away, one to his farm, another to his business.  The rest laid hold of his servants, mistreated them, and killed them.  The king was enraged and sent his troops, destroyed those murderers, and burned their city.  Then he said to his servants, 'The feast is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy to come.  Go out, therefore, into the main roads and invite to the feast whomever you find.'  The servants went out into the streets and gathered all they found, bad and good alike, and the hall was filled with guests.

            But when the king came in to meet the guests he saw a man there not dressed in a wedding garment.  He said to him, 'My friend, how is it that you came in here without a wedding garment?'  But he was reduced to silence.  Then the king said to his attendants, 'Bind his hands and feet, and cast him into the darkness outside, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.'

Many are invited, but few are chosen." (Mt 22:1-7)

We are invited to the Eucharistic banquet every day, most especially Sundays.  We do a grave disservice to our young people by not teaching them that though you should not judge by appearances, people do.  Going to church in skimpy clothes shows disrespect for the people around you and for Jesus Christ, our Lord.

© Copyright 2005 Catholic Exchange

Karen Lynn Ford and her husband Michael have been married for nine years. They live in Western Massachusetts and there they attend Holy Name Catholic Church.  Karen and Michael are the parents of an 8, 6, and 4 year old, who recently welcomed their youngest sibling on August 15, the Feast of the Assumption. Karen is a Content Editor for Catholic Exchange.  👈

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In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity (Jeremiah 31:31-34) every person can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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© 2006-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2006-2021 Tous droits rĂ©servĂ©s AbbĂ© Gilles Surprenant, PrĂȘtre AssociĂ© de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, MontrĂ©al QC
 

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Monday, September 20, 2004

Dinner with a Sinner – What one priest learned from a troubled mother.

In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity, as reported in Jeremiah 31:31-34, every human being can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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Dinner with a Sinner – What one priest learned from a troubled mother. 
By Fr. Pat McNulty, MHA Word Among Us, September 2004

        Then just before the doors hissed shut, she ran back to me, kissed me on the cheek, and said in a loud voice, “Thanks, Fr. McNulty. I may be back again tonight.” Because I used to say the 7:15 Mass at the cathedral just across the street, I knew many of the people who had just gotten off the bus on their way to that Mass! I don’t remember what I did after the lady kissed me there in public, but years later someone who saw it all said that I just shook my head and walked away. I was probably thinking something like, “Lord, it couldn’t have turned out worse if I had planned it myself!” And if the look on the face of the priest going into the chancery office next to the bus stop was any indication, I feared that my new downtown ministry was going to die before it even got off the ground. 

An Open Door. 

        This was one of the first times in my life as a priest when I was in a public situation which people could easily have interpreted in a very scandalous way. (Some did, as I learned a few years later.) As I climbed back up the stairs to my apartment, what was in my heart was shame at being seen with that particular woman, under those particular circumstances, without being given the chance to explain.  Living on the second story of the abandoned building across from the chancery office and the cathedral had been my own crazy idea. Though it was not met with the instant approval of my bishop, he had permitted me to try it out. It was to be an “open-door ministry.” I posted a sign, which was visible from the bus stop: “Roman Catholic priest available for coffee and chatting.” 
        The woman getting on the bus had come to see me often. She was a troubled woman who was well-known for her promiscuity. This time she had come late at night to get away from an abusive situation. She had come in tears and fear, and with a badly bruised face. Because it was so late and I had no car, I slept in an empty room at the back of the building and let her and the baby sleep in my one-room apartment. That morning she was taking the bus to her mother’s and then to work. In her own childlike fashion, her action at the bus stop had been a nervous but heartfelt, “Thank you.” 

The Gift Everybody Needs. 

        I was too embarrassed and proud to see it then. But now, every time I hear the words from the prophet Hosea on the lips of Jesus—“I desire mercy, not sacrifice”—I thank God for these words and for her. For this young woman was probably the first person who forced me to face my arrogance about eating with sinners and tax collectors (Matthew 9:11, 13; Hosea 6:6). Until that morning, it had been easy for me to admit that I was “a sinner.” But it was a very philosophical thing—much like saying, “I am a human being” or “I am a person.” And even though I was secretly humble enough to know that I really was a sinner, in public I mostly gave the impression that it was “them” and “us”—those who really sin and the rest of us who are only sinners in that generic, rather nonculpable sense.  
        That morning I discovered, much to my chagrin, which group I would have been in if I had been present when the Pharisees reproached Jesus for the company he was keeping (Matthew 9:11). And I saw why I had never really understood what Jesus meant when he said, “What I want is mercy, not sacrifice.” Oh, as a Christian and a priest, I always kind of knew—in that same philosophical sense—what the words signified. But I wonder if I would ever have grasped his real meaning if I had not learned to sit down with “sinners and tax collectors” over and over for many years until I finally really got it: I am a sinner. And like all sinners, what I need is mercy, not sacrifice. Sinner to Sinner. 
        If we Christians really believed that, we would be much more compassionate and risky with the message of the gospel and not so concerned about our precious public image. We would not be so embarrassed to be seen in public with well-known sinners. And we would not feel the need to explain this to anyone, because our own sins would have taught us our own deep need for mercy. I remember when President Jimmy Carter’s sister, Ruth Carter Stapleton, and her husband invited the publisher of a notorious pornographic magazine for a private dinner at their home. 
        The compassion she expressed eventually led to this man’s conversion. His subsequent loss of faith and return to the pornography industry seem to have been the result of an attempt on his life which left him permanently disabled and addicted to pain medication. But the fact remains that Jesus’ message of mercy was planted in his heart by a Christian woman who was not afraid to be seen in the company of sinners and tax collectors. And I pray that one day before he dies, he will turn to Jesus again.  If we are afraid to be seen with sinners, then how will they ever know Jesus? But even more important, how will we ever believe that we are really sinners, too?  When was the last time you had dinner with a sinner? Besides yourself, that is? 
 
Fr. Pat McNulty was a priest of Madonna House Apostolate, in Combermere, Ontario. He died peacefully surrounded by his loving community members December 17th, 2015.

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If you like this story, get more great articles and subscribe to The Word Among Us at: http://www.wau.org



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In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity, as reported in Jeremiah 31:31-34, every human being can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

----------------------------------------------------------------

© 2006-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2006-2021 Tous droits rĂ©servĂ©s AbbĂ© Gilles Surprenant, PrĂȘtre AssociĂ© de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, MontrĂ©al QC
 

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Saturday, December 6, 2003

“The Passion” by Mel Gibson

In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity, as reported in Jeremiah 31:31-34, every human being can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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“The Passion” by Mel Gibson

December 6th, 2003

A Great Review of Mel Gibson's highly controversial film which may or may not be eventually released for viewing.

        Keith A Fournier is a constitutional lawyer and graduate of the John Paul II Institute of the Lateran University, Franciscan University and the University of Pittsburgh. He holds degrees in Philosophy, theology and law. He has been a champion of religious liberty and appeared as co-counsel in major cases at the United States Supreme Court. He is the author of seven books and, along with his law practice, serves as the president of both the "Your Catholic Voice Foundation" and "Common Good". 
I really did not know what to expect. I was thrilled to have been invited to a private viewing of Mel Gibson's film "The Passion," but I had also read all the cautious articles and spin.  I grew up in a Jewish town and owe much of my own faith journey to the influence. I have a life long, deeply held aversion to anything that might even indirectly encourage any form of anti-Semitic thought, language or actions. I arrived at the private viewing for "The Passion", held in Washington D.C. and greeted some familiar faces. The environment was typically Washingtonian, with people greeting you with a smile but seeming to look beyond you, having an agenda beyond the words.  
The film was very briefly introduced, without fanfare, and then the room darkened. From the gripping opening scene in the Garden of Gethsemane, to the very human and tender portrayal of the earthly ministry of Jesus, through the betrayal, the arrest, the scourging, the way of the cross, the encounter with the thieves, the surrender on the Cross, until the final scene in the empty tomb, this was not simply a movie; it was an encounter, unlike anything I have ever experienced.  In addition to being a masterpiece of film-making and an artistic triumph, "The Passion" evoked more deep reflection, sorrow and emotional reaction within me than anything since my wedding, my ordination or the birth of my children. Frankly, I will never be the same. When the film concluded, this "invitation only" gathering of "movers and shakers" in Washington, D.C. were shaking indeed, but this time from sobbing. I am not sure there was a dry eye in the place. The crowd that had been glad-handing before the film was now eerily silent. No one could speak because words were woefully inadequate. We had experienced a kind of art that is a rarity in life, the kind that makes heaven touch earth. 
One scene in the film has now been forever etched in my mind. A brutalized, wounded Jesus was soon to fall again under the weight of the cross. His mother had made her way along the Via Della Rosa. As she ran to him, she flashed back to a memory of Jesus as a child, falling in the dirt road outside of their home. Just as she reached to protect him from the fall, she was now reaching to touch his wounded adult face. Jesus looked at her with intensely probing and passionately loving eyes (and at all of us through the screen) and said "Behold I make all things new." These are words taken from the last Book of the New Testament, the Book of Revelations. Suddenly, the purpose of the pain was so clear and the wounds, that earlier in the film had been so difficult to see in His face, His back, indeed all over His body, became intensely beautiful. They had been borne voluntarily for love. 
At the end of the film, after we had all had a chance to recover, a question and answer period ensued. The unanimous praise for the film, from a rather diverse crowd, was as astounding as the compliments were effusive. The questions included the one question that seems to follow this film, even though it has not yet even been released. "Why is this film considered by some to be "anti-Semitic?" Frankly, having now experienced (you do not "view" this film) "the Passion" it is a question that is impossible to answer. A law professor whom I admire sat in front of me. He raised his hand and responded, "After watching this film, I do not understand how anyone can insinuate that it even remotely presents that the Jews killed Jesus. It doesn't." He continued "It made me realize that my sins killed Jesus" I agree.  There is not a scintilla of anti-Semitism to be found anywhere in this powerful film. If there were, I would be among the first to decry it. It faithfully tells the Gospel story in a dramatically beautiful, sensitive and profoundly engaging way. Those who are alleging otherwise have either not seen the film or have another agenda behind their protestations. 
This is not a "Christian" film, in the sense that it will appeal only to those who identify themselves as followers of Jesus Christ. It is a deeply human, beautiful story that will deeply touch all men and women. It is a profound work of art. Yes, its producer is a Catholic Christian and thankfully has remained faithful to the Gospel text; if that is no longer acceptable behavior than we are all in trouble. History demands that we remain faithful to the story and Christians have a right to tell it. After all, we believe that it is the greatest story ever told and that its message is for all men and women. The greatest right is the right to hear the truth. 
We would all be well advised to remember that the Gospel narratives to which "The Passion" is so faithful were written by Jewish men who followed a Jewish Rabbi whose life and teaching have forever changed the history of the world. The problem is not the message but those who have distorted it and used it for hate rather than love. The solution is not to censor the message, but rather to promote the kind of gift of love that is Mel Gibson's filmmaking masterpiece, "The Passion". It should be seen by as many people as possible. I intend to do everything I can to make sure that is the case. I am passionate about "the Passion." 
You will be as well. Don't miss it. And, I would like to add these thoughts. This film is going to receive more scrutiny and be the focus of more public debate than any film EVER. The argument that this film is anti-Semitic will be played 1000's of times a day in every household across America...across the world. To me...a most crucial "discovery" of this man's "experience" is the reality that "my sins killed Jesus." The full weight of this truth is enormous! What an opportunity for millions and millions of people to "discover" this through the film. So.... I encourage you to think carefully about how you're going to respond to the "debate" because there will be one. It's a great opportunity to witness about what it means to be a Christian.... and nowhere is it appropriate or biblical to point a finger at the Jewish race. To do so is to stand squarely in His face and say...."You died for nothing!" 
Please pass this along to your Christian friends and family....to those that will truly understand the message....so that they can be prepared to respond in such a way that bears a positive witness to Jesus' death and resurrection. 


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In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity, as reported in Jeremiah 31:31-34, every human being can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

----------------------------------------------------------------

© 2006-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2006-2021 Tous droits rĂ©servĂ©s AbbĂ© Gilles Surprenant, PrĂȘtre AssociĂ© de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, MontrĂ©al QC
 

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Tuesday, October 7, 2003

SCREAMING FLESH - by Jayme-Dawn Kryskow - October 2003

In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity (Jeremiah 31:31-34) every person can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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 đŸ‘‰ 22.  SCREAMING FLESH - by Jayme-Dawn Kryskow - October 2003 

Let all flesh be silent at the presence of the Lord; for He has risen out of His holy habitation.”  Zechariah 2:13

As women, are we aware of the ways our bodies speak or even scream as we encounter men?  Do we want our bodies to scream at men or praise God?  

The issue of modesty has always been a struggle far me.  “Clothes are just clothes and men should control their eyes, self control is a virtue, DUH!” is what I thought.  The over indulgent attitude of our society, that our lives and our bodies are our own, has had a great impact on me.  We all live in our own bubble and as long as we are not being harmed we must not be doing anything wrong.  It is crazy how many of us hove been deceived.

When I had entered high school, I become acutely aware of the power of the female body.  The power present was not just the idle reality of what the female body looks like, there is also a great power in the way that the body moves and is dressed.  I took advantage of this power at times and was amazed at the response, the ability to turn a guy’s head was exciting and fun and all I had to do was walk by them. Ironically, I often got mad at guys when I felt like they were treating me like "a piece of meat", not realizing that I was putting myself an the meat shelf, 

Then, my sister spoke....

My sister had gone through a very powerful conversion and this had a big impact on her role as a big sister.  I remember one of the first thugs she ever taught me was about modesty.  She explained that as women, we are responsible for the men around us.  If we wear clothing that causes a man to sin in his thoughts, we as women are held responsible.  Yes they are also responsible for what they choose to look at and think.  Our responsibility is in not teasing them with a sinful pleasure.  The clothes that we wear may even affect the destination of the men around us for eternity.  In other words, if a man is going to hell because of lustful thoughts nurtured by an immodestly dressed woman, we will have to face the consequence of placing the temptation before them.

This was my first lesson on modesty.  My immediate reaction to this news was a sense of excitement and power.  Wow!  We truly hold much power in our hands and we are the only ones who can really help protect men from the monster of lust.  

The robotic words “WE MU57 PROTECT" went through my head; we are their “body guards”.

But, honestly, the issue of modesty still annoys me.  Why do I have to worry about men, why don’t they just deal with their lack of control?  It is a selfish annoyance, selfish because I have to sacrifice my comfort and fashion faves.  

Modesty is obviously an issue for men but now I see it as an issue for myself as a woman.  If I am to expect a man to have self control with his eyes and his thoughts, then I too must have self-control with my thoughts and actions.  Did you catch that?  Women have to watch their thoughts too, but for different reasons, I’ll explain later. 

* * *

Now, on a different note, I want to explain my purpose.  With this essay I wish to accomplish a minimum of three things.  The first thing I want to do is give you a list of things to watch out for.  Next, I will try to explain the brain waves of the men around us as explained to me from them.  (I have been in contact with about 20 men ages 18 to 26 an this topic.)  Finally, I will share the importance of the brain waves of the woman by explaining… well… me. 

Here we go….

* * *

THE LIST OF “BEWARE”

 tight anything   watch for tight chest areas or butt areas 

 low cut shirts   watch that when leaning over that no secrets are told 

 short anything

· Shirts---guys have problems with the stomach area, even if only 1cm shows, it can be trouble (“When you can see the way that a girl’s stomach muscles are moving, don’t ask why, but for some reason this is a turn on for most guys.”) 

· shorts  -as a general rule, no shorter than 3 hand widths above the knee when sitting 

 low rise pants  -watch that between your pants and shirt, skin doesn’t show.  Especially watch your lower back, this area tends to be another problem area especially when there is a funky tattoo. 

 hide the underwear   underwear covers private area hence underwear will turn a guy’s thoughts to the south… got it?  (And a huge majority of guys thinks it is just plain gross to see a thong.) 

 skirts with super high slits-  watch for slits that reveal the upper thigh… upper thigh is close to other stuff just north of it… got it again? 

 hide the bra straps    just like underwear, the guy's mind turns to what is being covered up, especially  watch out for clear, red, black straps. 

-avoid straps on bags that cut between the breast   these drew undue focus to the chest. 

 pants with writing an the butt   guys will naturally read what is there and be tempted to continue to look.  (Watch the sayings on the shirts and pants… any potentially sexual innuendos are not good.)  skimpy bathing suits DUH!

* * *

THE MAN'S MIND

“Sometimes even in Christian circles [modesty] is a problem
because some girls simply don’t get it.  I guess they just
don't understand that guys are visually oriented.”

The body has been molded in a certain way in order to give glory to God.  One form of glory is a baby. Yup, God likes babies and therefore wants us to make them.  In order for Him to be sure we make these wonderful babies, God made our bodies attractive and sometimes just plain Hot!  Beautiful bodies means men and women will want to come together and... POOF! make babies.  The crazy thing we forget about is that our bodies are sending out silent messages about babies.  One guy explained it like this: “The problem lies in the fact that many women ‘broadcast’ sexual ready¬ness unintentionally through posture, clothing, interactions etc. while not actually wanting a sexual response.”  The way we dress influences a guy’s thoughts by stimulating the desire to …umm, make babies.

It is important to remember that babies are meant to come from a marriage relationship.  So, modesty is especially important when around those we are not able to make babies with.

The problem we as women must deal with is that men get their engines warmed up by getting the eyes warmed up.  See, unlike women who get their engines turned on quickly by physical touch, guys 'get going’ when they see something 'good'.  Some guys get turned on more easily than others and have a harder time controlling how fast their engine will go VROOM.

I was fortunate to have some guys explain what is so difficult about women’s clothing.  One guy said: “Underwear lines or short skirts draw a guy’s imagination to things that they are not supposed to see” and by “draw[ing]” a guy’s imagination, the guy faces the difficulty of controlling the direction his imagination is wanting to go.  So when we tease a guy by showing him a hint of something they are not supposed to see, the natural response for them is to start using their imaginations to show them the rest.  They change from using their physical eyes to using their mind’s eye to enjoy the secret treasures that only marriage is supposed to give.

So in others words, the man's eye is a dangerous body part.  It is what guys have to deal with most as they pursue holiness.  It is a huge stumbling block that has caused many a man to fall.

Another guy said, “If I see a woman with [a] …plunging neckline, for example, the automatic reaction is to make an object of her sexuality.”  There are many shirts that are cut to reveal just a bit of cleavage (the line between the breasts), this is dangerous because the guy will tend to look for possible sneak a peaks.  This is a natural reaction that women's fashion takes advantage of.  Not good.

…hey, check this out...

“The lamp of the body is the eye.  It follows that if your eye is clear, your whole body will be filled with light.  But if your eye is diseased, your whole body will be darkness.  If then, the light inside you is darkened, what darkness that will be!”  Matthew 6:22 23

What we as humans look at will affect who we are on the inside.  If we use our eyes purely, we will be pure.  And if we choose for guys to only see purity in us, so too will they be led towards purity.

* * *

THE WOMAN'S MIND

As I started the research on this topic of modesty, I very early came to realize that modesty is more than the way we dress.  True modesty is an attitude, a way of life.  It is included in every moment of our day, and affects the choices we make.

Every choice we make can be guided by one question.  As Christians do we want others to see us, or do we want them to see Jesus.  If we are serious about our faith, we will answer the latter.  It is our role as Christ bearers to let Jesus shine and Jesus IS ultimate modesty.

When I am getting ready in the morning is when I struggle the most with modesty.  As I said before, modesty is an attitude.  Many times when I get dressed I get caught with wanting to look, not nice but GOOOOD.  I want to dress feminine and my mind likes to think feminine is sexy.  NOPE IT’S NOT! Feminine is an aspect of God but sexy is an aspect of lust.

The sources of my morning struggle are due to the fact that I used to take dance lessons.  In these classes, I learned the details of moving the body: how to roll the hips, strut with attitude, be sassy and sexy, and how to try and captivate the audience.  With these lessons we also had costumes that accented our movements.  These lessons overflowed into my daily life.  I see how clothes add to certain feminine movements, which ultimately aim to please the male eye.  How low rise pants accent the movements of the hips, low rise shirts show off the abs which are the intersection of the chest and lower abdomen, how slits allow the legs to be sexy, etc.

So when I get ready in the morning and am choosing my clothes, I try and observe my attitude.  If I notice I change my walk to more of a strut, I fix the outfit; if my outfit make me feel sexy.... I fix it.

But, don't get me wrong, we don't have to remove style from our wardrobe but rather remove the excess skin.  Style is a good thing because it shows that we care about our bodies, which are the temples of the Holy Spirit.  We are walking tabernacles and should be sure that we are dressed appropriately to hold Jesus.  As spoken by a guy, “There is nothing wrong with a woman wearing clothes that displays the shape of her body if the intention and context are correct…. To cover it completely would be to deny [the body’s] worth.”  Guys appreciate when girls take care of their appearance and allow their clothes to express their self-image.  Check out these various comments:

 “[Immodesty] leads men’s minds to wander and not focus an what’s really important, the person behind the clothes, instead they're worried about the body behind the clothes.”

 “[Immodest clothing] makes them look unsophisticated and it cheapens them by making them look rather easy for guys.”

“There is a big difference between who men check out and who they date.”

So from the guys themselves, they say that immodest clothing is in general a turn off (except for the few who are generally twisted). Don't we as women want guys to truly cherish us? If so we must present ourselves by cherishing ourselves. The female body is one of the greatest gifts from God and therefore must be treated and dealt with in the most gentle and loving of ways.

So, with the words of our most Holy Church herself I shall conclude:

Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance.  Modesty protects the intimate center of the person.  It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden.  It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness.  It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity. ….Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love.  It encourages patience and moderation in loving relationships…. Modesty is decency.  It inspires one’s choice of clothing.  It keeps silence or reserve where there is evidence of risk of unhealthy curiosity.  It is discreet. Catechism of the Catholic Church: 2521-2522

The following is the email I sent out:

Hi Guys,

I need your help.  I was driving to work a few months ago and found myself having a mini-crisis.  I was not sure whether what I was wearing was modest or not…. I still question it…. Anyways.  So my request is this: Will you type up a list/summary of things that you would like girls not to wear because you find them immodest.  And also, would you mind explaining why you find it immodest.  See, most girls, especially myself, do not understand what the big deal is with clothes.  We don’t understand how you guys struggle with what you see.  I know that guys are visual and your eyes lead you into temptation easily…. But we don’t get it.  Could you help explain what you go through?  Now, my goal for this information is to compile an essay that girls (and guys) could read in order to understand the issue of modesty in a more real way.  I will keep your responses confidential.  The only possibility is that I may quote you but the quote will remain anonymous.  When the essay is done I will be sure to get you the final results (especially if you choose to respond), as well as share it with all those who want to learn more.  Please email me your responses and I will do the rest.  Thank-you so much for your help and if you have any questions, feel free to write me.  

Yours in His Strength, Jayme-Dawn.    👈

https://1drv.ms/b/s!Amyv6OjUkKMfjwHbTztcL4hB3752?e=qGI8NZ


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In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity (Jeremiah 31:31-34) every person can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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© 2006-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2006-2021 Tous droits rĂ©servĂ©s AbbĂ© Gilles Surprenant, PrĂȘtre AssociĂ© de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, MontrĂ©al QC
 

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Sunday, April 20, 2003

AGONY – LIVE

In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity, as reported in Jeremiah 31:31-34, every human being can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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 AGONY – LIVE

       Every day he’s in our face: a suffering pope, tottering, trembling, and barely managing to mumble sounds, let alone words.  Shown worldwide, the Pope has chosen to impose this picture on us himself; for it’s easy to imagine his numerous uneasy advisors preferring to avoid showcasing the leader of the Church as such a physically debilitated old man.

       We cannot bear to see this, particularly as our dominant social values favour unending youth, obsessive beauty, impressive efficiency; in effect hiding such physical deterioration and heralding of death.  By having us endure this upsetting spectacle, you can see the staging, John Paul II tells us what words can no longer express: suffering and death are inseparable from life and we cannot escape them without denying our own humanity.

       The violence with which some people, by media broadcast, denounce what they call a freak show – we heard a radio commentator wish the Pope would stop being on display – clearly shows unwillingness to be disturbed, a convenient euphemism that hides fear.  This fear infects the heritage of a society of contestants ready to do anything to be physically perfect; sure they’re right and dreaming of being stars, that is, icons of themselves.

       Suffering isn’t nice.  The physical deterioration of old age can be a shipwreck, to paraphrase General De Gaulle, and death is a defeat.  Better to escape it.  They understand very well all those who abandon their aged relatives who are no longer good for anything and who, above all, stopped serving them.  Such old people are abandoned to their ghetto homes where those who sporadically visit them most often do so out of guilt and require a day to get over the emotion stirred up by death’s antechamber.  In letting the cameras of the world see him, the Pope substitutes himself for all those we prefer not to see, among them, those men and women who, at the end of their life, wilted away in the crushing heat in France last summer while their own children cooled off at the beach unconcerned about their mother or father trapped in a sweltering fifth-floor apartment in a building without elevators while Paris, as agitated as it is anonymous, climbed to 40°C.

        The Pope also displays his physical suffering under the gaze of those – and they are legion – who are too sensitive, to fragile, too emotional to go to the hospital to be by the bedside of close family.  What about those others, mostly women by the way, who consider it a duty to visit the sick, thereby running roughshod over their own sensitivities?  Obviously, our tolerance of illness is limited today because it is seen as a loss, a defect, a breakdown, and not as an element of health itself.  Many see the body as a machine one polishes, repairs, trains, and which, therefore, must work.

       As for death, it has become meaningless.  Believers integrate it into their vision of life, but faith no longer explains or reassures as it used to.  We have reduced the time for exposing the dead, mourning is no longer visible in how we dress, and the time for sadness is often cut short by the impatience of the entourage to forget or rather to pretend to forget.  The Pope, disturber of consciences, forces us to witness his slow descent towards death, a death that no one will take away from him.

       Like those flamboyant artists, the Pope hopes to die with his boots on, on stage, in view of the whole world, in communion with those who suffer in isolation and abandoned.  He portrays the ugliness of disease, and in so doing; he transfigures it.  There is a mixture of faith and pride in his action that commands respect.  And so, this pope that one might criticize for his moral stances, for example, remains an exceptional being who has waged his battle, both spiritual and temporal, and transformed the world.

Denise Bombardier denbombardier@earthlink.net
Le Devoir, October 4-5, 2003.  www.ledevoir.com
Translated by Fr. Gilles A. Surprenant 7.10.2003


HERE IS A HEARTFELT REQUEST FOR PRAYERS!

“Kindly pray for the current Pope.”

I was profoundly moved at knowing that His Holiness is specifically requesting that we pray for him in the knowledge that his time among us is limited. 

By word of mouth, letter, or email, gratitude is a powerful tool in calling for prayer for him.  Say an "Our Father" for Pope John Paul II, which will dispose your heart, like his, to knowing and doing the Father’s will.  In addition, forward this request to as many people around the world as is possible.  Please don't forget to include him in your prayers, as well as forwarding this request. 

Pope John Paul made this request around Easter as he was praying the Angelus before the pilgrims in St. Peter's Square.  He says that only through prayer will he be given strength from those who prayed.  We are in solidarity with one another; as one part of the body is with all the other parts.  Let us help the Pope, whose prayers have helped so many of us. 

If you can muster the generosity and love within you, you may also pray the Rosary or part of the Rosary for Pope John Paul and his intentions.  Let this be an opportunity for you to discover why the Rosary has for years been his favorite prayer.  At each of the decades, meditate on one of the mysteries in Jesus’ life, asking the Lord to show you how your life is connected to His.

With the Rosary, allow Mary to help you contemplate the face of Jesus her Son, the Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Please send this to all your relatives and friends.  

With your cooperation, in just a few days, millions of human beings will have offered their prayers for John Paul II, and by the same token, offered their prayers to God. Let us never forget the power of prayer. 
=================================

“Cast all your worries upon Him, because He cares for you.”  1 Peter 5:7



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In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity, as reported in Jeremiah 31:31-34, every human being can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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© 2006-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2006-2021 Tous droits rĂ©servĂ©s AbbĂ© Gilles Surprenant, PrĂȘtre AssociĂ© de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, MontrĂ©al QC
 

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Wednesday, September 11, 2002

September 11, 2001 – Reflections

In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity, as reported in Jeremiah 31:31-34, every human being can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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September 11, 2001 – Reflections 


Peace Card for Wednesday 

Today is September 11th.  It is an important day not to remember because of some petty terrorists who were filled with hatred – but a day to remember that the world stopped for a moment and embraced one another.  A day of tears – but also a day of love.  Where sin abounds grace abounds all the more. 

The year I entered the monastery we had a big volcano eruption in our state.  The whole mountain (St. Helen's) blew up and our world was one gray expanse of nothingness. Every flower, twig and blade of grass was coated in gray.  The sky was gray; even the water was covered with a film of gray.  When I opened the door in the morning to let in my black cat, he was gray.  It felt like the end of the world had come and left. 

Yet now, 21 years later – though we still find ash when the wind blows – that eruption produced bigger and better crops than we had ever had.  Washington State never had much of a grape crop, but now we produce some of the best wines in the world, because with the ash the grapes sprung into wonderful growth.  I think this will also happen to our nation in the years to come.  It won't be overnight – but in a few years we will see the gifts that God has released through these days of darkness.  That is the power of our God – and with faith we can look to the future with hope and confidence.  Satan does his worst – but it is never a final victory.  He didn't win on Calvary, and he hasn't won on September 11th! 

Blessings of Peace, 

Sister Patricia and all the Sisters 

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Reflection September 11 – A reflection on today's Sacred Scripture from the Liturgy of the Word: 1 Corinthians 7:25-31; Psalm 45:11-17; Luke 6:20-26 
 
How significant on this first anniversary of the infamous terrorist attack on America that the first reading from 1st Thessalonians should remind us that the world as we know it is passing away!  What a traumatic object lesson God has allowed to wake us all up to the fact that our lives hang from a frail thread.  We know not the day or the hour! 

On a sundial in an old English garden are engraved the words: "It is later than you think!"  But, thank God, there is still time – time to return to the basics of the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes, the Great Commandment of love of God and love of neighbor.  Jesus has told us that fear is useless – what is needed is Hope.  May we all observe this anniversary day in the spirit of Hope, a new humility, a new commitment, throwing ourselves in faith on a merciful God who still gives us time! 

Msgr. Paul Whitmore (smartins@twcny.rr.com) 

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          I truly believe this is how we should live each day that we are blessed with.  Just wanted to share this with the many people who have brought happiness to my life.  Have a wonderful day.  This hasn't been broken since September 11; please keep it going.... this poem has been kept alive and moving since that time.  In memory of all those who perished this morning; the passengers and the pilot on the United Air and AA flights, the workers in the World Trade Centre and the Pentagon, and all the innocent bystanders. Our prayers go out to the friends and families of the deceased...

IF I KNEW
 
If I knew it would be the last time
    That I'd see you fall asleep
    I would tuck you in more tightly
    And pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
    That I see you walk out the door,
    I would give you a hug and kiss
    And call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
    I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word
    So I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time
    I could spare an extra minute,
    To stop and say "I LOVE YOU"
    Instead of assuming 
You would know I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
    I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
    So I can let just this one slip away.
      For surely there's always tomorrow
          To make up for an oversight,
    And we always get a second chance
         To make everything just right.
There will always be another day
    To say "I love you",
And certainly there's another chance
    To say our "anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong
        And today is all I get,
    I'd like to say how much I love you
       And I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
    Young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
    You get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
    Why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
    You’ll surely regret the day.
That you didn't take extra time
    For a smile, a hug, or a kiss
    And you were too busy to grant someone,
   What turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today
    And whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
    And that you'll always hold them dear.
Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
    "Please forgive me," "Thank you," 
Or "It's OK"
And if tomorrow never comes,
    You’ll have no regrets about today.

Please share this and pass it around.



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In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity, as reported in Jeremiah 31:31-34, every human being can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

----------------------------------------------------------------

© 2006-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2006-2021 Tous droits rĂ©servĂ©s AbbĂ© Gilles Surprenant, PrĂȘtre AssociĂ© de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, MontrĂ©al QC
 

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Tuesday, April 23, 2002

Letter to a newly ordained priest.

In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity, as reported in Jeremiah 31:31-34, every human being can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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Who can weigh adequately the importance of a seemingly casual encounter with a priest in God’s plan for a soul?


Letter to a newly ordained priest.

By Donald Haggerty

Dear Father C.,

        Congratulations on your ordination!  I have one memory from the morning of my ordination that comes back most often in my thoughts of that day, and indeed haunts my prayer at times.  It was a brief encounter with an older priest on the sidewalk outside St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York after the Mass.  I was only mildly acquainted with this priest, which perhaps made his words that much more effective.  I was on the sidewalk looking for my ride back to the seminary when he saw me and came right over with a big Irish smile.  We shook hands and before anything was said, he pulled me closer to him with a thick handshake and in an almost gruff manner whispered loudly: “You’ve just given yourself entirely away to God.  Now don’t spend the rest of your life taking it back.”
I find myself remembering that old priest and his words once again as I sit down to send you a few reflections for your own beginning days as a priest.  No doubt I could as well simply pass on his words, and leave it at that.  But I will accompany them with some other thoughts as well.  “Know what you are doing.  Imitate the mystery you celebrate. Model your life on the mystery of the Lord’s cross.”
Do you remember these words at the ordination Mass as you knelt before your bishop and together with him held a chalice and a paten?  At that point in the Mass you were already a newly ordained priest.  Those words are worth some meditation at times. Three commands are pronounced that identify concisely the spiritual challenge facing every priest.  The first command—”know what you are doing.”  The stress of this first imperative statement is on knowing, before any doing, and it will always be necessary to recall for a priest who wants to live more fully the mystery of his vocation.  There is an important command here, the first, by the way, which you received from your bishop, and it is simply this: pay attention and be aware.
And of what, you ask?  I wonder, in these days since you were ordained, do you comprehend what you have become?  What priest does, even after many years?  Yet even now, after you have once offered a single Mass, you know well enough there are actions in your new priestly life that do not belong to you—they are God’s.  It would be good to realize soon that in fact nothing of your life belongs now exclusively to you.  No choice you make, especially regarding people, can be simply your own, for your life no longer belongs to you.  You have given it away in order that it may bear fruit—in response to a privileged invitation. “You have not chosen me; I have chosen you—to go and bear fruit.” If you are attentive you will discover in many mysterious ways how true these words are.
I speak here first, then, of what you will do with souls.  Know that by your ordination you are entering hidden chambers, as it were, where you will be given an occasional glimpse of the mystery of divine predilection for souls.  If you are receptive in your inner spirit, your soul will brush up at times against the incomprehensible nature of divine love and mercy.  Please be aware that the grace of God is bigger than you are, and that God has more intelligence than you do.  You must make yourself very open and accessible to being used in ways you cannot foresee.  Your choices with people, whom to see, whom to give more or less time, whom to pursue without letting go, whom to wait on patiently, all these choices cannot be managed as though they were under your exclusive control, as your possession, to do with as you please by your own lights.  
        The true priest is at the disposal of a divine purpose that is often concealed in the immediate moment and sometimes for a good while.  It is not good in fact to presume a clear awareness of God’s workings.  The only sure knowledge you have is that Our Lord gave himself for every soul you will encounter as a priest for the rest of your life.  Be alert, then, and open to the unexpected possibilities in contact with people wherever you are.  Who can weigh adequately the importance of a seemingly casual encounter with a priest in God’s plan for a soul?  
So I leave you with this first challenge—stay awake and be aware interiorly—because it will lead in time to a great spiritual happiness only a priest can really know.  If a young priest sustains his attention, if he is not forgetful, I think it is true he will experience over time, strangely at first, and then more expectedly, that his attractions toward souls sometimes are not simply his own, that the coincidences accompanying his choices, the chance encounters, are not so random and unplanned as they at first appear.  A priest should begin soon enough to see he lives his small life within the active presence of an unfathomable Love that will remain always outside his comprehension.  Even what seems at first to pass aimlessly through your mind may not be so haphazard.  What is the reason, for example, behind the unexplainable, urgent thought to seek out or pray for a particular soul but an influence beyond the priest himself?  
        Be alert, then, with your eyes open, and listen for the concealed poverty in souls.  Every soul in need of grace suffers a poverty only God can assuage, and he may want you to be the lifeline back to grace for the soul in front of you at any particular moment.  So be energetic in getting out in the midst of these souls in need, and gain a quick love for the confessional, which can be anywhere there is a priest willing to take the time.  Know what you are, an intercessor and an instrument, and you will more often do what you are meant to do as a priest for the souls God sends you in your lifetime.  
        A book review I read last year treated an autobiography of a Jewish man who converted from agnosticism to an orthodox practice of his faith.  The reviewer commented that the author “did not come to his Jewish identity easily."  Nor does any man come to the mystery of a priestly identity easily.  Every priest is well aware that his ordination does not displace a former self with its weakness and its natural gifts.  And these weaknesses and gifts of nature cling to a man in a way that might make him forget the awareness he must foster if he is to realize the new identity that has been struck in his soul. 
        You remember, of course, at your ordination, prostrating yourself on the cathedral floor in acknowledgement of your unworthiness. It is a dramatic moment. But we prostrate there also in the knowledge that our former identity as a man is soon to be buried in a past that can never be returned intact.  From that day onward, the mystery of a personal identity will converge with a divine purpose that overwhelms the limitations of the man in himself. Over a long time, with grace, and with steady faithfulness, the gradual recognition may arrive that your identity as a man cannot be separated from the Christ who acts within you. A limited personal biography will be very secondary to this wonderful reality of having become, by actions you are never worthy of, an alter Christus in the lives of souls.
We should make no mistake what kind of demand on our natural pride this cooperation with Christ’s action requires concretely.  It is remarkable that Our Lord could say of himself that “I can do nothing on my own.”  Even after hearing these words we turn about and possess such confidence in ideas and plans that have been forged independently of a profound need for divine intervention.  To his priests, indeed to every Christian soul, Our Lord said: “Apart from me, you can do nothing.”  It will seem sometimes, in fact, that with him as well we can do nothing, and indeed this is very much the truth.  
        From the beginning of your priesthood, make no mistake: this is an identity rooted in powerlessness and self-emptying, in self-renouncing death, and in an ultimate self-offering without promise of visible reward.  Like every priest you are bound to know the dry taste of impotent frustration, and at times the darkness of defeat.  Isaiah prophesied of Our Lord: “He was despised and rejected, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief, one from whom men hide their faces; he was despised, and we held him of no account.”  Jesus of Nazareth was crucified.  Should we look for a career of pleasant successes?
Yes, know what you are doing, and what road you have embarked upon, and you will know more and more what you are likely to become over time.  Everything, in one sense, is tied to a certain striving for awareness.  Our Lord went often to deserted places to pray.  A priest must be a man of prayer, he must have a profound commitment here, or else he lives with an emptiness that cannot be compared to the inner restlessness of the layperson who does not pray.  
        The priest with little prayer life risks becoming a sad caricature of the sacred actions he still performs, one who can instrumentally cause divine action upon a piece of bread, or upon a soul lost from grace, and yet be distracted himself, unaffected, without wonder at divine interventions in personal lives, untransformed himself because the mystery of his identity is covered over with busy activity and its contrary the excessive need for diversion.  And this is if there are no greater moral collapses.  A divine companionship marks his life whether he wants to have it or not.  When he has no silence, no reflective hours, he forgets his true identity and becomes false to himself, leaving his soul exiled from its true identity.  St. John of the Cross wrote the following words over four hundred years ago, and they are apt now as much as ever.  
"Let those who are singularly active, who think they can win the world with their preaching and exterior works, observe that they would profit the Church and please God much more, not to mention the good example they would give, were they to spend at least half of this time with God in prayer . . .. They would certainly accomplish more, and with less labor, by one work than they otherwise would by a thousand . . .. Without prayer, they will do a great deal of hammering, but accomplish little, and sometimes nothing, and even at times cause harm . . .. However much they may appear to achieve externally, they will in substance be accomplishing nothing; it is beyond doubt that good works can be performed only by the power of God."  
You heard, of course, in the seminary (at least I hope so) that the need for prayer is the essential preparation for a man aspiring to the priesthood.  The admonition is even more important now that you are a priest.  Nonetheless I venture to say it is an uncommon blessing whenever we find a priest to be really a man of prayer.  Make up your mind and heart to be one, no matter what kind of circumstances in which you find yourself.  
        Surely you will hear it said there are struggles enough sufficient for the day outside the proximity of the tabernacle.  Must we add one more?  And yet without an intent of striving for greater interior life well beyond simply fulfilling a perfunctory duty of praying the breviary, all is likely to become hollow at the core.  Make no mistake that a priestly life without extended times of silent prayer and meditation leads to a predictable conclusion at best.  You have only to look at some priests in their later years, anxious to retire after their
busy years running parishes.  What priest who seriously prays would relinquish the chance to keep serving Our Lord in some capacity?  The fact is the ones who pray do not stop until they are knocked off their feet.  It is good to decide this right now before you get any older as a priest.  
“Know what you are doing.  Imitate the mystery you celebrate.  Model your life on the mystery of the Lord’s cross.”  The mystery you celebrate is of course the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, the renewal of Calvary in our midst.  The sacrifice is hidden, the victim invisible to our eyes, participated in under the appearance of food and drink.  But for the priest the Mass and all time spent in the presence of the Eucharist ought each day to forge a renewed self-offering of his life in union with the offering of Jesus Christ, our Lord and God, on the cross at Calvary.  If you pray before the Eucharist an hour a day in silence and in a way that empties you of your self, you will offer the Mass as Our Lord desires.  
        Remember, please, that the Church properly speaks of the priest offering Mass, not simply of praying it, or of saying it as one might say other good prayers.  Even as it becomes a daily reality of your life, the Mass is too extraordinary an event for routine.  At every Mass the priest is at Calvary once again; this is not a pious trapping for the imagination to consider occasionally.  You are offering again and again Jesus Christ at the cross in Jerusalem.  Remember it well, because at the same time you yourself are being offered by Our Lord to an unbloody sacrifice that, if you become holy, will be the most apt
description of your own life.
Try to allow your daily Mass to carve a deep, very sacred orientation in the hidden recesses of your soul.  And in what way?  Primarily by animating in you a desire for sacrifice, a readiness for costly, exacting, repeated rhythms of self-giving, a willingness to die to your own needs whenever you can be an instrument of grace for another.  This is a
sublime ideal; yes, and only the Sacrifice of the Mass united to your priestly soul each day and a search for a deeper interior life can sustain it.  Since my first days offering Mass I have always thought the words of St. John the Baptist describe what the Mass will do for a priest’s soul if we are docile enough, and desirous enough: “He must increase, I must decrease.”  St. John the Baptist, the forerunner announcing the coming of Christ, prophesies in these words the Catholic priesthood nailed to the cross of every generation for the salvation and sanctification of souls.  He prophesies your own life in these words—“He will become more, you will become less”—if you are willing to become holy.
There has been much said about the crisis of faith that the Church has suffered in the last decades of the past century.  I know you enough as a man to trust your fidelity to the Pope and the Church.  The alternative, I might add, is to become emasculated.  With no particular individual in mind, I offer you a pattern to observe.  The men who cannot stand with the Church in the public arena of a pulpit and rectory office are invariably complaining, peevish spirits in the privacy of their bottled-up resentments against the Church.  Be careful with your clerical associations, and don’t lose your manhood as a priest.
But there is another crisis far less regretted in our time, but one which has had its own corrosive effect on the Church.  You have to know it so that you reverse the pressure of its ill effects in your own life.  I speak of the crisis of sacrifice in the Church.  Somewhere along the way in these last forty years, the central importance of sacrifice began to crack and splinter off from personal lives—in priestly and religious and family life.  It became a more peripheral notion because its reality began to fade until its value was submerged by other slogans of our time.  You remember what the old priest said to me on my ordination day—”you have given yourself entirely away to God; don’t spend the rest of your life taking it back.”  Let’s be serious, an indulgent life is readily possible despite all the talk of heroism in a priesthood with less newcomers each year to fill the ranks.  Comfort is enticing, and very hard to refuse when available.  Try to resist it if you would retain a manly spirit in your priesthood.
So much will reduce itself in your life to a question of faith and will. The will is indeed a very hard thing to give up once you discover it is up to you now to decide how you want to live.  But you don’t in fact give up your will at all when you are responding to God generously.  You rather give it away to choices pleasing to God, refusing to take it back for yourself.  You forget yourself and actively choose with grace and increasing strength in order to become the man God would have you become.  I will give you one small test that will determine a measure of your character as a priest in the coming years.  An alarm clock set early every morning can be a painful experience.  But what is the alternative—living without a serious pursuit of prayer?
One of the great contrived misperceptions among the diocesan clergy is the caveat “we are not religious.”  Does this mean we are called to an easier life, as is so often assumed?  On the contrary, I remind you of your bishop’s commands at your ordination to “imitate the mystery you celebrate and model your life on the mystery of the Lord’s cross.”  You have a higher demand upon your life than the three vows the religious take.  The mystery you are to imitate is a profound sacrificial dying, and it is meant to affect everything in your life.  The religious have their vow of chastity, true, but purity of mind and body and respect for your dignity as a man of God must pervade your whole public and private life. Even the once very zealous have sometimes brought disgrace upon themselves and the Church by presumptuous lack of prudence in this regard. It seems to me a very safe assumption that no man who has left the priesthood to marry has ever had a truly happy life.  How could they, realizing after a time what they gave away so cheaply?
The religious have their vow of poverty, but a true poverty ought to mark your life in a visible manner if you have any love for the real suffering and deprivation of the poor in this world, especially outside our own borders. I offer this caution: You will be affecting people’s spiritual lives by your material lifestyle; despise the vanities of clerical
worldliness so scandalous to people.  Do you know of the now deceased New York auxiliary Bishop Austin Vaughn, who became more well known in his later activist pro-life years?  It was said after his death that all during his priesthood he had the practice of emptying his bank account periodically and giving the money to the poor.  This was a man of prayer, of course, and that is a connection one cannot help noticing—between the amount of money that priests spend on themselves and the amount of time they spend in prayer.  And yes, finally, the religious have their vow of obedience, but remember you are exercising an obedience to your bishop and the Church in courageous public teaching and in the confessional, in your faithful responsibility to schedules of ordinary duty within a parish, by the kind demeanor of your availability and by every cheerful acceptance of unexpected constraints on your time and energy. 
The daily demand of self-giving involves much hidden sacrifice and a great spirit of detachment from self.  Your priesthood must not be experienced as an accumulation of burdensome obligation, but rather joyfully embraced as the overflow of the mystery you celebrate each day at the altar.  Intensive self-giving ought to become an almost natural expression of a priest’s interior desire for union with Christ over a lifetime.  Priests can easily tire of giving; so do husbands and wives, fathers and mothers.  And yet without the sacrificial tests that form your will you cannot be happy as a priest.  Perhaps the greatest tests will always involve your becoming poorer in self, so be ready for them, because they are already on the way.  It is a safe prediction to state you will be as generous to the gift you have received in the priesthood, as you are self-effacing and dismissive of your own importance when any such trials come.
One of the very disturbing experiences you, too, may unfortunately have is to see men you knew in the seminary walk away from the priesthood.  Again, make no mistake: every betrayal of a priestly vocation has a source in the refusal of sacrifice, an unwillingness after a point in time to embrace further demands to become less, to become poorer in the service of Our Lord.  In this sense the priesthood confronts the same dilemma as married spouses of protecting their first love, adjusting spiritually to the new requirements of divine demands upon the soul, and understanding the emptying of self out of love for another as the primary requirement for growth at all stages of a life’s commitment.  Let it be repeated: every priestly life that has ever been abandoned amounts to a failure of a capacity for sacrifice.  The devil is most certainly very active here in his whispering seductions.  The beginnings of eventual betrayals happen in small ways initially, a simple forgetfulness at first, but the tear widens sometimes irremediably when a man at some fateful juncture refuses to surrender himself to a higher purpose than himself.
On the other hand, your life of sacrifice, as painful as it may sometimes be, will determine your happiness as a priest.  It is a mystery of divine love that small acts of self-renunciation are used by God to filter grace to souls, and you should be alert to these patterns.  I was once told by a cloistered Carmelite nun: “Father, we do not think our lives are fruitful because of our prayer, but rather because of our prayer combined with sacrifice.”  For a priest, the disposition to sacrificial living will be the safeguard of his priestly resilience and of his inner joy, for then his life is never directed to himself as much as to his fruitfulness with souls.  Remember as well when you think about penance or sacrifice that there are hidden souls of sacrifice and prayer in this world who shed their
blood drop by drop in concealed lives of self-immolation.  You are witnessing their fruits on any given day in your contact with souls in need of grace.  Why not strive to realize over a lifetime an increasing affinity with these hidden saints?
I have found the following words of the 19th century Italian priest/philosopher Antonio Rosmini a good meditation for what should occur mysteriously within our inner life during a lifetime of priesthood.  As Rosmini conveys so well, we must never stop in allowing the link between sacrifice and fruitfulness to deepen dynamically over the remaining years of our lives.  There is nothing static about a vocation to the priesthood, not even on God’s part, because, adapting Himself to our nature, He calls us in a progressive way.   If we are faithful to His first invitation, others, increasingly pressing and definite, will follow, which will bind us more and more to our divine Master.  Basically, there is but one call to the priesthood . . . but God, through the various circumstances of life, and especially, through new occasions for sacrifice, repeats this invitation more precisely, more definitely, each time letting the soul see how far the gift of self must be extended in order to reach the plenitude of its consecration.  If the soul is faithful, and answers these progressive calls generously, God will continue to send new invitations, which will open up wider and more luminous horizons, until the soul lives its consecration in a perpetual renewal of fervour and love.
“Know what you are doing. Imitate the mystery you celebrate.  Model your life on the mystery of the Lord’s cross."   Our Lord died in great pain, in a profound silence while taunts and mockery rifled the air, with his concentration intent that no one should be lost, and perhaps suffering most interiorly in the awareness that souls would refuse his mercy. His last testimony, his last preaching, are not spoken words but the blood poured out in death from a pierced heart.  The priest can model himself on the mystery of the Lord’s cross by allowing himself to be overcome by the interior thirst for souls that consumed Our Lord on the cross.  “Can you drink the chalice I drink?  Indeed you shall.”  
        Our Lord says the same to you right now.  It is no exaggeration to say that the holy priest will suffer the mystery of this thirst for souls residing in his own soul.  As time goes on, there will be a crucifying familiarity in his own experience with the infinite desire of divine love for souls.  He must bear witness to this largely concealed truth by the entirety of his life.  The thirst for souls of Jesus Christ dying on the cross becomes the ultimate reason for the sacrificial dimension of the priest’s life.  It demands that he pour himself out for others.  The very nature of such a life will always imply an ongoing immolation of the natural self, a progressive mortification of self-interest in the service of a supernatural reason for living.
The priest’s identity with Jesus Christ crucified requires lastly that he be a son to the Mother present at the cross. His acceptance of this Mother, the need to take her and her desires into his home, as John did at the cross, assures his special place in the Heart of the Son at the cross. The priest who is a son of Mary, who finds his rest in prayer and the Eucharist, and in the protection of the humble Mother of priests, who fears not to embrace the sacrificial call at the heart of his life, will indeed fulfill the gospel promise—you will bear much fruit.
And so, asking your prayer as a new priest, I will take leave of you with this prayer composed by Pope St. Pius X, that great parish priest: 
        "Lord, grant that I may realize what my Christian and priestly vocation demands of me, somewhat in the way in which I shall see it immediately after death. . . . In your mercy, grant me the grace to fulfill with love whatever You expect of me for the salvation of those souls whom I ought to help, and to suffer with generosity whatever sorrow You have permitted from eternity for my Sanctification before I eventually reach You in heaven. I ask, in particular, that I may work with zeal for the salvation of all those souls whom, in accordance with Your will, I ought to help.  For that purpose I join the personal sacrifice of my life with the unbloody sacrifice of Your Son, superabundant and of infinite value, and with the immense merits of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Amen."
My own prayer is that Our Lord may bless you in great hidden ways.  I have every hope you will be a man of God as a priest because you have been humbled and awed by Our Lord’s personal choice of you for His priesthood.  God was good to you in your own time of need; you must return that love in a generous manner for a lifetime. Be a man for others, for their salvation and sanctification. And pray often the words Mother Teresa taught her Sisters for times of difficulty and struggle: 
        “Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now and always.”

Sincerely in Christ,
Father Donald Haggerty


Rev. Donald Haggerty, S.T.D., is a priest of the Archdiocese of New York, ordained in 1989.  After completing a doctorate in moral theology from the Accademia Alphonsiana at Rome in 1995, he taught for three years at Mount St. Mary’s Seminary in Emmitsburg, Maryland. He is currently a Professor of Moral Theology and Assistant Spiritual Director at St. Joseph’s Seminary in Yonkers, N.Y. - his 2nd article in Homiletic & Pastoral Review - April 2002  



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In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity, as reported in Jeremiah 31:31-34, every human being can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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© 2006-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2006-2021 Tous droits rĂ©servĂ©s AbbĂ© Gilles Surprenant, PrĂȘtre AssociĂ© de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, MontrĂ©al QC
 

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Seminar / Workshop on God - "Introduction to Prayer" - Marriage Preparation Course "From This Day Forward" - Saturday, November 2nd, 2024 at St. John Fisher Parish - Marriage is a great adventure for LIFE! Workshop Seminar 08.3

In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity, as reported in Jeremiah 31:31-34, every human being can know God from...