Father Gilles' Archive Pages

Thursday, January 12, 2023

LINKS : GOD - LIFE - MARRIAGE - FAMILY - GOD

In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity, as reported in Jeremiah 31:31-34, every human being can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.

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LINKS èç GOD èç LIFE èç MARRIAGE èç FAMILY èç GOD èç LINKS

1. In life, how do we connect the dots…? What are the links between GOD – YOU – LIFE – MARRIAGE – FAMILY – GOD? - Link to Beginners' Page

2. What has been your experience of God? Interiority? Prayer? Spiritual things?

1) Are you familiar or comfortable with your interior life?

2) Perhaps you’ve never really thought much about your interior life?

3) Do you find the idea or reality of your interior life challenging or frightening?

4) Where are you with regards to your interiority at this point in your life?

5) Have you and your fiancé shared about your respective interior life?

3. We obtain knowledge by thinking / learning and through experience. We need both.

4. A spiritual exercise in PRAYER – whether or not you pray regularly (10 to 15 minutes)

1) Read these instructions through first, prepare and set a timer, and then go ahead.

2) Sit comfortably, hands resting on your knees… Back & head straight… & relax…

3) Be still… adjusting your body in any way you need to in order to let go & relax…

4) Pay attention to your interior landscape as if you were driving in the country…

5) If all is quiet and peaceful, lovely… now focus on a kind image of God or Jesus

6) If all is not quiet, notice the noise, words, echoes, whatever comes along…

Acknowledge it briefly and let it go; focus again on a kind image of God or Jesus

7) If you are on familiar terms with God or Jesus; then have a good visit with Him.
If you are not on familiar terms with God or Jesus, consider this an introduction.
He is very interested in having a personal relationship with you: it’s always up to you.

8) You always get to decide how open you want to be with the Creator & Saviour….

9) Now you’ll have 7 minutes of silence….

10) When your timer rings, stop it; then you can choose to continue in silence or stop.

5. Your connection with God will become more real and personal as you make silence and prayer a regular part of your day as a spiritual exercise, an exercise of your spirit. It is within our spirit that God connects with us because God is SPIRIT and not flesh. Yes, Jesus took on flesh, a human nature, when He was conceived in Mary by the Holy Spirit. As Son of God, though, Jesus is SPIRIT like the Father and the Holy Spirit. God created us human beings with an “empty space” in the center of our self, our identity, our soul or spirit and this space is designed to receive the mysterious divine presence of God the Holy Trinity. When God dwells within us, we become most perfectly human.

6. The whole adventure of life begins with you, with me… because that is how God designed life on Earth for humanity. Jesus didn’t come to reform the Roman Empire or even the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem. He came to help people, one person at a time, even in speaking to crowds, so that all those who want to encounter God can decide to accept to enter into a personal relationship with the Father through Jesus and with the help of the Holy Spirit. From this point of departure, we can experience how God wants to enrich all our relationships with others, beginning with our own family of origin, and then through marriage, developing our own family as a couple for the flowering of family life.

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1. Why bother with God at all? What if God isn’t real? Cf. Catholic Answers.com / Bishop Barron YouTube

2. How can we possibly get to know God? How can we be known by God? Cf. Christian Disciplines for RC’s

3. If one would like to pray, how does one start? Alone? As a couple? As a family?

4. If prayer is a divine fire, just putting the kindling and logs together isn’t enough. We need a spark or match or lighter to produce the first flame. What’s a spiritual match, lighter, or spark?

(1) The Book of Psalms in the Old Testament of the Bible

(2) The Gospels and Acts of the Apostles in the New Testament of the Bible

(3) The Wisdom books in the Old Testament

(4) The Letters of Paul, Peter, John, James & Jude in the New Testament

(5) These are a good start, and then there’s a lot more.

5. Is it possible to get coaching or mentoring in prayer and in the spiritual life?

(1) The most personal opportunity to experience the healing power of God’s love and to be interiorly touched personally by God is in the Sacrament of Penance / Reconciliation, which is also called Confession and is available from all priests in the R.C. Church. Just find a priest you can trust or with whom you may feel comfortable and ask him.

(2) The Ignatian Center of Montreal in NDG provides Prayer Companions

(3) The Ignatian Center of Montreal in NDG also provides Spiritual Directors

(4) You can obtain spiritual direction on various retreat experiences in retreat centers

(5) You can ask your parish priest

(6) Your parish may provide spiritual exercises that might help you

(7) Our Church provides many opportunities for formation, learning, and accompaniment

6. What are the essentials of prayer? The acronym ACTS can help you remember easily.

(1) Adoration: expressing reverence for God by attitude, posture, words, interior disposition

(2) Contrition: expressing to God sincere regret for wrongs / sins / omissions / neglect

(3) Thanksgiving: giving thanks to God for his benefits we notice and those we haven’t

(4) Supplication: putting our needs and requests and those of others to God – He already knows, but we need to exercise our desire in order to get ready for his answer

7. What different kinds or methods or styles of prayer are there? Answer: an almost infinite variety

(1) Prayerfully reading and pondering the inspired Word of God in Sacred Scripture: the Bible

(2) Prayerfully participating in the various Sacraments, especially the Holy Eucharist / Mass

(3) Praying and meditating on the Mysteries of the Most Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary

(4) Praying the Liturgy of the Hours, also called the Divine Office or The Breviary

(5) Occupational Prayer: shooting short prayer phrases to God in the midst of daily occupations

(6) The Prayer of Silence or Contemplation: silently welcoming the Holy Trinity as interior Guests

(7) Various forms of meditation: relating personally to work of religious art as a window to God

(8) Calling on a saint to keep you company and help you to pray to God: e.g. Mary in the Rosary

(9) Many, many more…. e.g. Ignatian Prayer, Carmelite Prayer, Franciscan Prayer….

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© 2006-2023 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal QC
© 2006-2023 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC

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Marriage Bibliography – Some Good Reading

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Marriage Bibliography – Some Good Reading

LISTED ALPHABETICALLY

These 3 categories are actually interchangeable – these books are useful at all times in married life.

Marriage Enrichment

1. A Couple After God’s Own Heart. Building a Lasting, Loving Marriage Together. Interactive Workbook. By Jim & Elizabeth George. Harvest House, Eugene OR 2012 (based on the book)

2. For Better… Forever! – A Catholic Guide to Lifelong Marriage. By Gregory K. Popcak. Our Sunday Visitor, Huntington, IN 2008

3. Embracing God’s Plan for Marriage. A Scripture Study for Couples. By Mark and Melanie Hart. The Word Among Us, Frederick, MD 2012

4. Holy Marriage, Happy Marriage. Faith-Filled Ways to a Better Relationship. By Chris & Linda Padgett. Servant Books, Cincinnati, OH 2015

5. A Marriage Made for Heaven. – The Secrets of Heavenly Couplehood. – A Marriage Enrichment Experience for the Parish and Small Groups. By Gregory K. Popcak, and Lisa A. Popcak. Crossroad, N.Y. 2009

Marriage Preparation

6. Catholic Marriage. An Intimate Community of Life and Love. By Patricia Murphy. Novalis, Toronto, ON 2011

7. Good News about Sex & Marriage. Answers to Your Honest Questions about Catholic Teaching. By Christopher West. Servant Books, Cincinnati, OH 2013

8. Marriage. The Mystery of Faithful Love. By Dietrich von Hildebrand. Sophia Institute Press, Manchester, NH 1997

9. Sharing Christ’s Priesthood. A Bible Study for Catholics. By Mike Aquilina. Lambing Press, Pittsburgh, PA 2009

Recently Married

10. Domestic Monastery. By Ronald Rolheiser. Paraclete Press, Brewster, MA 2019

11. Just Married. The Catholic Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the First Five Years of Marriage. By Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak. Ave Maria Press, Notre Dame, IN 2013

For more resources, feel free to contact our Team giving our Marriage Preparation Course “From This Day Forward”: Bridget Bagshaw <BBagshaw@diocesemontreal.org>

OR our Diocesan Center for Marriage, Life, and the Family at: 514-925-4300 ext. 232

Ellen Roderick <ERoderick@diocesemontreal.org>

Katerine Perrault <KPerrault@diocesemontreal.org>

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Developing an Attitude of Service

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Developing an Attitude of Service

Before marriage, I dreamed about how happy I would be when we got married. I had visions of all the wonderful things my wife would do for me. Sausage and eggs together in the mornings. Candlelight dinners at night. Holding hands all day long and sex every night. I assumed that she had the same visions. But, after marriage I found out that my wife didn't do mornings. So much for the sausage and eggs. She anticipated that I would take her out to romantic restaurants for dinner, not as a prelude to sex, but simply because I loved her.

I expressed my disappointment with her and she expressed her disappointment with me. We succeeded in being utterly miserable. Our marriage didn't turn around overnight, but it did turn around. And so can yours. I want to share the secret. It all has to do with attitude.

Jesus' life and teachings focused on sacrificial service to others. He once said, "I did not come to be ministered to, but to minister." It is a theme that all truly great men and women of the past have affirmed. Life's greatest meaning is not found in getting, but in giving. This profound principle made a significant difference in my marriage.

Developing an attitude of service is not easy but the rewards are overwhelmingly positive. Few people will run away from someone who is serving them. My wife was no exception. When I reached out to serve her, it wasn't long before she was reaching out to me. Jesus had it right! Why did it take me so long to learn?

How would a wife respond to a husband who sincerely sought to serve her? In my desperation I was determined to find out. I set myself to discovering her needs and desires and sought to fulfill them. I began quietly and slowly to do some of the things she had requested in the past.

You see, by now we were too estranged to talk about our relationship, but I could choose to take action on some of her previous complaints. I started washing dishes without being asked. I volunteered to fold the clothes. It seemed to me these were the kind of things Jesus might have done had He been married.

When she made specific requests, I determined to respond cheerfully and if possible to do them.
In less than three months, my wife's attitude toward me began to change. She came out of her shell of withdrawal and began to talk again. I think she sensed that my days of preaching were over and that my attitude toward her was changing. Genuine acts of service seldom go unrewarded. Before long, our hostility was gone, and we began to have positive feelings toward each other.

You see, if I believe that it is more blessed to give than to receive; that serving my spouse is more important than being served; that my best end is found in making her life better, then it will affect the way I treat her. When she sees this attitude expressed in my behaviour she knows that something has changed. If I am consistent, then service becomes a lifestyle.

Most wives and husbands are attracted to someone who shows genuine concern for them. The person who follows the example of Jesus – in serving others – is on the road to greatness and to a growing marriage relationship.

Adapted from The Family You've Always Wanted: Five Ways You Can Make It Happen by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

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Christian Disciplines and Life Skills for Roman Catholics

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Developing Christian Disciplines / Life Skills as Roman Catholics

Jesus calls us to consider our life as a relationship of faith through Him with the Father as we receive our life from the Father as a gift moment by moment. We provide our willingness to be open to God to know and do his will, and the Holy Spirit draws us into the communion of the Holy Trinity. Our activity and concerns are not distractions from God’s love but opportunities to live by his grace and empowerment. Within our deepest desires we can ask the Holy Spirit to show us how the Word of God sheds light on our life at every moment. We take time to allow the Holy Spirit to train us in this spiritual skill, avoiding drudgery and remaining vital and empowered by God’s grace to become holy and bear the fruits of love and mercy, justice and peace.

FOLLOWING JESUS – We resist all other voices that would distract us from obeying and loving God

The first meaning of “disciplines” is not rigorous tasks or punishment but developing and using our faith life skills as disciples of Jesus. What is Christian discipleship anyway? It is simply coming to Jesus and following Him who is sent out of love by the Father to us personally and to all of us together to lead us into the life and love of God the Father in the Holy Spirit. To put it the most simply, to follow Jesus is to allow Him to lead us into the intimate life and love of the Holy Trinity. This is a taste of Heaven on Earth. God instils in us divine grace or energy of love to empower us to put sinful ways behind us and walk in God’s ways as Jesus did. Disciples follow Jesus and learn from watching Him. We too are called to learn from Jesus first but also from others who follow Him. Jesus guides us to live with our whole being awake to the truth that all is gift from our Creator and to turn the focus of our will away from selfish concerns in order to love and serve others. It is in living oriented to others out of love that we experience abundant life as our Creator desires for us all. This is our Christian rule of life with trust in the Father, obedience to Jesus as Lord, and docility to the Holy Spirit. Thus we live through our days, and sleep at night, in God’s company rather than try to do it all on our own.

ABOUT DESIRE – Here is some of what St. Augustine wrote to Proba:

“Why he should ask us to pray, when he knows what we need before we ask him, may perplex us if we do not realize that our Lord and God does not want to know what we want (for he cannot fail to know it) but wants us rather to exercise our desire through our prayers, so that we may be able to receive what he is preparing to give us. His gift is very great indeed, but our capacity is too small and limited to receive it. That is why we are told: Enlarge your desires, do not bear the yoke with unbelievers.

The deeper our faith, the stronger our hope, the greater our desire, the larger will be our capacity to receive that gift, which is very great indeed. No eye has seen it; it has no color. No ear has heard it; it has no sound. It has not entered man’s heart; man’s heart must enter into it.

In this faith, hope and love we pray always with unwearied desire. However, at set times and seasons we also pray to God in words, so that by these signs we may instruct ourselves and mark the progress we have made in our desire, and spur ourselves on to deepen it. The more fervent the desire, the more worthy will be its fruit. When the Apostle tells us: Pray without ceasing, he means this: Desire unceasingly that life of happiness which is nothing if not eternal, and ask it of him who alone is able to give it.”

SPIRITUALITY – Christian disciplines – a more deliberate effort to follow the Lord Jesus

To achieve life goals we need to select appropriate means. For our life of faith we do well to learn from the disciplines our Teacher Jesus practiced and invites us to practice; so that in following Him we may allow Him to guide us into the abundant life the Father desires for us, our spouse, and our family. In the "Karate Kid" movie the master has the boy do manual labour for certain moves to strengthen specific muscles to discipline karate stances and moves. It is like this in the discipline of the Catholic Christian faith. The Mass, the Bible, the Rosary, and other forms of prayer draw us more personally into the life and mystery of the Holy Trinity.

DISCIPLINE – with our eyes on the goal we choose appropriate means to get there and practice them….

In – Disciplines for Christian Living – Fr. Thomas Ryan, CSP, a Paulist priest, reflects on the value for each Christian of developing discipline for a more abundant and satisfying life of faith in the life areas of:

1. friendship & family life (the value of cultivating real connections with a few friends and with the members of our family wherever this is possible),

2. living with a Sabbath rhythm (trying to rest – to pray and play including Sunday worship – for one whole day in connection with the Lord’s Day),

3. exercise & play (our bodies were made to be active and an effective way to manage our moods is to engage in gratuitous exercise, unlike intense training, on a regular basis with the whole body in motion),

4. prayerful presence (prayer is really visiting with God, with the three divine Persons, and we can do that formally at prayer time but also informally during each activity of our day, like thinking of loved ones),

5. fasting (allowing the body to get in sync with the hunger and thirst in our soul to be more aware of God),

6. service (one of the best ways to avoid excessive preoccupation with ourselves is to serve others with all of our attention focused in love for those we are serving, attending tenderly to them), and

7. vision of Christian faith (accepting to let Jesus open up within us his own wide view of life and love – St. Pope John Paul II spoke and wrote about living our life like Jesus according to the “law of the gift”, that is, filled with God’s love and life we have the power to live our life as a gift for others like Jesus).

The "duty of the moment" – the great commandment of charity – love of God, of neighbour, and of self is a call not to remain indifferent but to allow ourselves to be moved, troubled, lifted up or cast down by others and what they are going through; just as Jesus did. As we rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep and show mercy; God fills us with his peace. As we walk in the Lord’s ways we avoid selfishness, jealousy, or feeling sorry for ourselves and trust rather in God to show us the way and provide for our needs.

FOOD FOR THE CHRISTIAN – as an infant on mother’s breast we feed on God hour by hour, day by day

PRACTISING THE PRESENCE OF GOD & RECONCILIATION – ANTIDOTE TO BOREDOM

God is mysterious; so we need to allow Him to “tame” our wild and disordered spirit. As we “learn to keep God’s company” in a free exchange of mind and heart with the Holy Trinity, we enter into a sleep that remains contemplative all night and wake up refreshed and joyful. We needn’t worry about how this works but simply trust in the Holy Trinity to sustain us in a life of communion with them and with all living beings.

Jesus of Nazareth called the Christ, the Lord, revealed for all time to humanity that 3 divine Persons together are the one and only divine being we call God and are ever present. The only place in the universe, in all of creation, where they can be absent is in the human soul when an individual turns away from God and delves into sin, any refusal of the divine will, denial of love and its demands, or any thought, word, act, or behaviour that is evil, an offence against God, others, the goodness of creation, or life itself.

Serious sins are various forms of selfishness that use other people as objects and deny or denigrate the other's goodness and dignity created by God, simultaneously debasing and estranging the sinner from peace and the communion of God's love. We are constantly in need of seeking forgiveness, reconciliation, and conversion from God through confession in order to avoid the great danger of hardness / coldness of heart.

Avoid being bored by taking interest in others rather than waiting for someone else to make things happen. Dispel the impulse to escape the present and run after any number of things. Draw on your inner freedom and deliberately spend time and invest energy and interest in others, in God, in what you are doing. Participate as fully and as often as you can in the words and rituals of the Holy Eucharist and every other Liturgy and prayer as gifts from the Holy Spirit to draw us to the Father through Jesus. Much grace comes to us through God's inspired Psalms / prayers in the Bible: e.g. P salm 112 – “The happiness of the just man.”

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Father Gilles' Archive Pages

Thursday, January 12, 2023

LINKS : GOD - LIFE - MARRIAGE - FAMILY - GOD

Marriage Bibliography – Some Good Reading

Developing an Attitude of Service

Christian Disciplines and Life Skills for Roman Catholics

Seminar / Workshop on God - "Introduction to Prayer" - Marriage Preparation Course "From This Day Forward" - Saturday, November 2nd, 2024 at St. John Fisher Parish - Marriage is a great adventure for LIFE! Workshop Seminar 08.3

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