In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity, as reported in Jeremiah 31:31-34, every human being can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.
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Heavenly Recording – Heaven
Goes Voice Mail?
Too funny not to share.... Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:
Thank
you for calling heaven.
For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For French press 3
For all other languages, press 4
Please
select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others
I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line. If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3
To
find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his
social security # followed by the pound sign.
(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and
dial area code 666)
For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 316.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life on other planets, and so
on, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.
Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up
and call again tomorrow.
(OR) The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
(OR)
If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact
your local pastor.
Thank you and have a heavenly day.
Pass this on if you wish to brighten some
one's day.
In the "New Covenant" made by our Creator God with humanity, as reported in Jeremiah 31:31-34, every human being can know God from within - because the Holy Spirit is revealing our Creator to all who are willing to know the Lord and trust in Him. We can still help each other along the way; so may you be pleased to find here a variety of helps to the life of faith in God through Jesus Christ. G.S.
© 2006-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal QC
© 2006-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
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